Flawless Imperfections

What to do with bad news?

2012-03-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

What to do with bad news? I had to sit with a client the other day as she worked through some “bad” news. I often look at my own adversities and long to just wish them away. Often times when faced with our trials, there are questions of , “why and how did this happen.” We all have different experiences in this life, but one thing we are all familiar with is the common emotion of human pain. One thing I do appreciate about us as a human race is we come together in times of pain. I find the quote by Dean Nixon to be so true, “The common thread that binds all humanity together… is human pain.” Whether it be news of a terminal illness, divorce or the death of someone close, humanity seems to let all the details of our differences fall away in support of one another. I often think of that horrible day when I watched the twin towers collapse on my TV screen. I remember thinking, “Did that just happen? There is no way that just happened?” I remember wondering what such an event would do to our country. What I found to be amazing amidst such a tragedy was our ability to unify as a nation. It didn’t matter what race, religion or even what political party anyone was, we suddenly became simply “The United States”
You also see this type of reaction on a smaller scale. With the tragic events such as high school shootings or a classmate tragically killed in a car accident. All of a sudden the typical “clicks” dissolve and the student body will come together in support of those hurting. Or it may happen within a family when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer or someone experiencing some other tragedy. Scuffles and offenses between members fall to the wayside. That is when we get a glimpse of all we hang onto that is not even important. That is when humanity gets a glimpse of what really matters.
Even as a life coach it is hard to watch people bare their personal adversities. I don’t have a magical answer that just “wishes” it away for them. There are times I want to ask “why and how” for them, however I have grown to learn through my own adversities that there is gold to find in every heap of ash. And what that gold is varies person to person. And I could write whole blog itself on how to find the gold in our adversities and I probably will, but today I would challenge you, if you find nothing else, let your trials connect you to the human race. So often we cut our selves off from our loved ones, we shut down afraid to be vulnerable even in those safe moments with friends and family. Sometimes life will knock your feet right out from underneath you, and that is ok. It is ok to sit in the middle of this world and just cry. Just cry and let the hearts of humanity surround you in support. Because sometimes that is all there is to hang onto in the moment.

What do your kids say?

2012-03-05T18:11:00.001-08:00

The other day Bo was having a non-compliant moment. I know it’s hard to imagine. But he had my phone in his hand and I asked him to give it to me. “No” was his response. Well, seeing that it was in the morning and I was still lying in bed just gaining consciousness myself, my patience had not quite woken up yet, and there for I just yanked it out of his hand as if I was his older sister rather than his mother. When I grabbed it out of his hand, the back of the phone slid off. “Bo!” I said with aggravation in my voice. Bo’s eyes got big, “Awwwwww! Now look what you LET me do.” He scolded. Needless to say his comment did lighten the mood. Kids crack me up. They say the funnies things. Now I would like to hear from you!

So please either comment on my blog or facebook or email me and share some of the things your kid has said to you. After about a week I will compile them all and post them as one big blog. I just love hearing from everyone, and I think this could be quite entertaining.

Screw it baby, let the good times roll- again

2012-02-28T18:39:00.003-08:00

Well, I don't usually do this but this is what I feel like today so I thought I would say it again! Here is a post from over a year ago....

Screw it baby let the good times roll. How can that statement which is so simple and not even accepted in some social settings, be so liberating. Just think about all the crazy stuff you are worrying about right now and then say, “screw it baby, let the good times roll.” Can’t ya just feel the liberation. When my mind begins to over think it reminds me of a hamster on his wheel, running, and running as fast as he can, trying so hard to get some where yet accomplishing nothing. Running and running, and running until he can barely breathe, pushing with every last ounce of strength until “thump” he cant run any long and is tossed around the circular tread mill like a rag doll. Thump, thump his head hits each time he lands until the wheel slows down, eventually he’s just lying there on the bottom as it rocks up and down. He is so exhausted he just can’t move and then he thinks, oh “screw it baby let the good times roll.” And then some where out of nowhere someone gives the wheel a spin and whoo hoo, he is just along for the ride. Off the hinge the wheel spins, where exactly he’s going he is not entirely sure, but he is going somewhere. And he will enjoy the ride.

So often we let our minds take over our LIFE. We waste so many countless minutes in a day just worrying over things that just don’t even matter. We think it matters, and in that moment it seems like a HUGE deal. In that moment, forgetting your kid’s lunch seems like you are the worst mom. Taking the wrong kid up to soccer pictures seems like you are an airhead mom. But in the bigger picture of our life we would enjoy more of our life if we just said, “Who cares” and let it go. Cause all those worries lead back to worrying about what OTHER people think of you. So you ran over the diaper bag today, you are still a good mom. So you backed into your sister’s car for the 3rd time, it will still be ok. She may not be very happy with you, but trust me, I have experience with this personally, and your true friends love you no matter what. They are just happy to know someone just as human as they are. Let it go, stop over thinking. We can either ride this ride of life freely, taking in each moment, learning from the up hills and down hills, or we can over think and fight it. But in the end over thinking will make you feel like the hamster spinning his wheel. My Dad used to say to me, “Jamie, don’t sweat the small stuff.” And just before I could utter the words “um, this isn’t small stuff,” he would interrupt and say “and it is ALL small stuff!”

The land of the free, and the home of the Brave!

2012-02-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

I have always appreciated our troops but now that I have a relative in the service, I appreciate them even more. I always get a little teary eyed at Memorial Day events and even on the 4th of July, as I watch the beautiful display in the sky, I can’t help but take pride in what our country stands for and those who fought the very first battles of independence right up to those who will deploy by my cousins side. I have just always felt very patriotic, but now that the experience of sacrifice is right in my own family and it has opened up a whole new level of appreciation. It’s funny how it is hard to relate to other people’s experiences at times, simply because we have not experienced it personally. Just like I empathized with those who experience parents who divorced, I could only truly relate when I endured the same circumstance my self. Just like I had heard stories of child labor and the magical feel of a new born baby, it wasn’t real to my own soul until the day I personally labored and had my new baby placed on my very own stomach. But today I relate to those with family in the military on a whole new level. I still can’t relate to a wife of a soldier kissing her husband goodbye that last time before he goes to war. And my heart goes out to them in their own sacrifice. But I now relate as a close family member. As a cousin who grew up with a sweet little boy, who I pretty much claimed as my own little buddy, seeing I am 8 years older than he is. I played baseball in the backyard with him and we raced remote control cars. He is the one who gave me my nickname “Mame”, and though he grew out of calling me “mame”, I am now “Aunt Mame” to my little nephews, and every time I hear it, it brings a smile to my face. He has turned into a fine young man and I am very proud of him. He is a protector of his family, yet his heart is sweet as can be. I love him with all my heart. I now relate on a whole new level and I want to say personally, “Thank you to all those who have sacrificed, who are sacrificing and who will sacrifice for the beautiful life I am allowed to have here in America! The land of the Free and the Home of the Brave!”

Nothing to loose, and everything to gain

2012-02-23T19:49:00.000-08:00

Approach every venture as if you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, and you will lose nothing and gain everything. You will gain the experience of “life” and isn’t that what we all are after anyway. If you approach every venture as if you have something to lose, you will hang on to that which you should have let go of in the first place, and that is living desperation, fear, and regret. I often wonder if I approached life as an adventure, how much more youthful and content would I be? Rather than look at life as an “assignment” to get “right”, but as an adventure like I was Indiana Jones, what would I have to fear? If I approached life as an adventure with expected snares and adversities that I was thrilled to conquer, what guilt would I carry? If I approached life, fearing nothing but fear itself, putting all my successes and failures into my memory under the category of LIFE. What regrets would I have? If I awoke every morning, taking my first waking breath of the day with anticipation of what craziness I would encounter, faced it head on just proud to be me, taking in all there is to be learned, laughed and loved. And at the and of the day, letting my last conscious exhale be that of acceptance and admiration of all that I was, am and will be, falling into a restful slumber to prepare me for my next adventurous day, oh how would I sleep? As far as my adventures as Indiana Jones, what do my thrills look like? Thrills of taking large leaps, or driving a jeep 90MPH through the desert. Perhaps they are my leaps of faith as a parent choosing to believe I am the best “man for the job”, or abandoning myself to being vulnerable with those whom I care for the most, or the exhilaration of being an entrepreneur wondering what my next steps are and being willing to face the judgments of the world as if nothing they say could penetrate me. How much more fulfilling would those adventures be if I lived them with total abandonment, believing that my safety net in life is the knowledge I gain from every fall? The cool part is, that adventure is mine for the taking and the stress, regrets and guilt are mine for the leaving. The question is what will I choose to take and what will I choose to leave. More and more every day I choose to take, accept and enjoy my adventure and choose to leave the worries by the wayside. How about you?

Mom down, we have a mom down!

2012-02-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am going to go ahead and say this will probably be the best story ever written on this blog :) BWAHAHAHAH!!!!

Oh yes it's happened once again. It is me, Jessica, and I have hijacked my sister's blog, only this time the story’s main character isn't Josh, Kate, Timmy, Bo, Ayden, or Zayne. It's Jamie!!
The day starts like this…

I called Jamie this morning to see if she wanted to keep me company while I did some grocery shopping. She had some shopping to do herself, so she agreed. I ended up making some cinnamon muffins and brought a couple to keep the kids happy in the car. We hit Meijer, took some stuff back to Sears, dropped off some Goodwill and we were on our way to Sams. Anywhere Jamie and I go we tend to make a scene. So here we are walking in with the kid on Red Bull(Bo) and his little prototype(Ayden) following, while I carry cranky pork-ums(Zayne) hoping for a bath later to take care of the back ache from hauling him around. We are a sight through the whole store. Ayden and Bo didn't want to be separated so all over the warehouse you kept hearing Jamie or I holler at one of them. “Keep up boys”....”Ayden are staying with me or Aunt Mame”....”Bo you need to listen”. Jamie and I finally met up in the freezer section where she told me how much pain she was in from her menstrual cramps. I felt bad for her but was going to finish shopping. She looked back at me and said “I’m not ok...oh my gosh it really hurts.” I opened up a bag of veggie straws I had in my cart and started feeding them to my whiny 18 month old. “What do you want to do?” was my question back to her. She sat down right there in the middle of the isle and turned white as a ghost. Wow, she really wasn't ok. What was I going to do...I had 3 children literally hanging off my arm. A man ended up walking over and asking if she was alright and if she needed anything. “Ugh...Im fine...I just need to sit for a minute.” was her lovely response :) She gets a little grouchy when she is in pain. Don't even get me started on her labor and delivery stories ;) I ended up giving her my keys so she can go lay down in the car.
So here I am with 2 carts full of food and 3 starving kids...one of them being Bo. In my head I tried to finish her list for her knowing she wouldn't want to forget anything. I knew she needed cheese and pizza. As we made our way down the isle, we start passing all the wonderful samples. I have Ayden asking me if we can get one and I am calmly trying to tell him no, that Aunt Mame doesn't feel good and we have to hurry. Out of the blue I hear Bo's voice plow it's way through my conversation and say “SHTWABERRIES!!!!!!”. You would have thought the kid saw Santa Clause. “I WANT SOME SHTWABERRIES!!!!!!!”. I think I had enough of his spit on me to hydrate a small dog, I looked at him bug-eyed wondering how he could be so loud. “No, honey your mommy doesn't feel...” “AUNT CHESHY, I WANT SHUM SHTWABERRIES”. It was as if I wasn't even talking. Pushing one cart and pulling the other, I choo-choo trained myself down to the cheese isle and unfortunately had to pass the lovely strawberries again to get to the pizza. I’m sure you can all hear it. “SHTWABERRIES” he says again as if the whole store didn't hear him the first 2 times. “No Bo.” I thought maybe if I simplified he would understand better. Nope. He kept repeating himself and I decided to ignore him, grab the pizza and run. This lady approached me and said “Are you the sister of the girl...” I didn't hear the last of her sentence because of the pudgy little boy that was in my cart who still was expressing his desire for “shtwaberries!” I nodded my head knowing it had to be Jamie. Then over the loud speaker I heard “Would Jessica the sister of Jamie please come to the Exit”. Oh my gosh, did she get hit by a car on her way out. The lady looked at me and preceded to say “She collapsed...but it's ok she is talking now. Do you want me to stay with the kids while you go check on her?” My first thought was “Holy @#$!....she freakin fainted” What a great sister I am, send her to the car thinking it's menstrual and she freakin fainted
My second thought was “Leave my kids with you...over my DEAD BODY.” Don't get me wrong folks. I believe that there are good people in the world I just wouldn’t use my kids to figure out if this lady was one of them. I felt the beads of sweat start to form on my forehead and in the small of my back. I grabbed all 3 of what felt like now my own kids, hurriedly apologized for the opened bag of veggie straws and simply left my 2 carts full of groceries and headed out to the exit. I grabbed “porky”, held Ayden's hand and had to argue with Bo as to why he had to hold Ayden's other hand. On my way out there I thought, knowing my sister, she will be fine and then she will be bummed I didn't just check out so we didn't head home empty handed. I got out there and she had 4 people standing around her asking her questions. Once I knew she was ok I had to hold back the laughter. She was slumped over on the concrete apparently irritated that they wouldn't leave her alone. I heard one man ask her if she was a diabetic. “NO I am not a Diabetic.” 'Yup time to get her in the car and on our way'. I got to her and let her know I was going to load the kids and pull around to pick her up. She started crying once she saw me and I paused. I knew she just wanted to leave and I could hardly even console her with the 3 chitlins I had to take care of. One lady offered to hold Zayne and I politely declined. Another man piped up and said “Ok an ambulance is on the way.” Jamie almost lost it. “WELL CALL THEM AND TELL THEM TO TURN AROUND, I AM NOT PAYING THAT BILL”. She kept hollering something at them while a man pulled me aside. “This isn't right, you don't collapse on a concrete, walkway and say you're fine.” “I know, I'll get her in the car and we'll head to the hospital.” I said this knowing it would put everyone at ease and we could easily bow out. Don't get me wrong she does need to get it checked out but she would rather set up an appointment with her personal doctor. I corralled all the kids, got them loaded and buckled, all while answering 3 of Bo's questions. Then I realize I gave Jamie the keys earlier in the store and she still had them. I kept my eye on the car while I ran up to her and grabbed them. I ran back and pulled the car up just in enough time to see the paramedic taking her blood pressure. Oh boy, I didn't want anyone poking the bear. I quickly jumped out and said “Ok, I got the car, lets get you loaded!” The paramedic said, “I will let you go with your sister as long as you're going to the hospital.” I started to shake my head in “Fake” agreeance and then heard my sister say “HECK NO... I'm not going to the hospital, this is just GIRL problems...I'm going home to pop 6 ibuprofen and lay down with a hot water bottle on my stomach.” Obviously Jamie had never been through this situation before, however I had. So I quietly, without letting Jamie see me, said to the medic, “Yea we'll get her in” with a reassuring nod. We finally got her loaded and we drove across the street to the K-Mart. I ran in, grabbed the pain relievers and a bottle of water. She took a couple and by the time we got home she was her cheery little self again.

My cute little chef

2012-02-17T18:39:00.000-08:00

Bo was so cute he just melted my heart. I was upstairs folding laundry while he was downstairs playing in his toy room. As I was going upstairs I noticed he was in his play kitchen cooking up quite a meal. After about 15 minutes of folding laundry and listening to Bo talk to himself I heard his little voice calling up the stairs. “Mom, come and see what I made you, it is so AWWWWSOME.” I just had to chuckle. As I came down the stairs he pointed me to his kitchen where he had quite the spread. He instructed me to sit down ‘cause it was time to eat. As I sat there I was quite impressed with his attention to detail. In the center of the table he had a stick of butter with some sort of spatula on top of it. Next to the butter he had a top to a hamburger bun. He had 2 teacups with spoons in them, one for me and one for him. I knew this had to be hot chocolate, that seems to be the hot item these days, with the snow and all, and the kids love to sip it off their spoons. Sure enough, when I asked him he said, “Yup, you like some hot chocolate?” “Oh yes” I replied
“Would you like some bread and butter.” He asked as he picked up the top of a hamburger bun and scraped his spatula across the plastic butter.
“Oh, yes please” I said “This food is very good, you are a really good cook Bo.”
His face beamed with pride, accompanied by the cutest little chubby face grin.
“Yes, I am a very good cook.” He said.
I just had to admire how sure of himself he was. It got me thinking, if only we could be so pleased with ourselves. It seems to me we spend a lot of time looking at our shortcomings, when really we would feel better if we “beamed with pride” even over our little accomplishments. So from now on, if I manage to cook dinner “without” making the smoke alarms go off, well, I would say that is something to be proud of. lol

Paparazzi Mom

2012-02-15T18:31:00.000-08:00

The other day the kids and I were chatting about their days and Josh said
"Be careful what you say guys, you might end up on Mom's blog"

"Yea" said Kate "Mom is like the paparazzi!"

Well I got More than a story this time! I got it on VIDEO!!!!

Pay attention to the kid in the orange shirt, on the left end, 2nd from the top row.

A lesson in Honesty...It's never to late to be honest.

2012-02-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

As a part of Value Based Parenting, we have weekly family council meetings. During these meetings we can make sure we have everything on the calendar, and we use this opportunity to allow everyone, parents and kids, to express concerns or ideas of how things can work better. We also discuss one of our family values to keep learning. Well, tonight we were discussing honesty. While we were discussing the importance of honesty, Timmy pipes up and said, “I have something to say about Honesty.” With all of our attention now on Timmy, this is what he said.

“The other day I snuck and ate three donuts. And then I came and asked you if I could have a donut, and you said yes, so I ate another one. And then later I snuck three more donuts.”

The room filled with laughter at Timmy’s candor. After we were done laughing we further chatted about honesty. It turned out to be a good lesson and I took it as a big sign we must be on the right track, lol, if Timmy felt safe enough to confess at the meeting. I was glad for the experience! It was a teachable moment, while entertaining at the same time.

Kids are too dang funny!

2012-02-02T07:03:00.001-08:00

Kids are just too dang funny. When ever it is a school night for Bo I always say, “Ok, Bo you have school tomorrow you gotta get some rest so you can be ready for school?” I do this to try and make putting my hyperactive child to bed easier. Well, last night I said “Are you excited for school tomorrow?” working to get him to think going to sleep is a GOOD idea, and certainly something he is interested in. His answer was, “Yeah, but just a little bit excited. I get a lot excited only when we are going to Disney World not school. I get a lot excited to go to Disney World, and yeah school too. Well, I get a lot excited when we go to Disney World, school, or just to someone else’s house. When are we going to Jackie’s house? That kid is to funny.

Another little story, Timmy has us laughing this time. He noticed a friend of ours had a beard and our friend said maybe he should get rid of it. So Timmy told this story to Michael followed by, “so you can CHOOSE to have a beard or not” lol to funny, the kid apparently thought beards were like freckles. Some get them and some don’t.

It is moments like me that I just soak up as a parent. As you know it can be quite trying at times, but these moments melt away the stress and remind me that LIFE is GOOD no matter what.

If you have some cute stories of your own I would be happy to post them. You can send your story written, to me at jamielightner@yahoo.com. Or feel free to give me a call and tell me your story and I will gladly write it for you. 517-242-0224.

Have a great day everyone!

My philosophical soap box...

2012-01-31T18:37:00.000-08:00

Well, today I would like to branch off my post from last night. Ya know, the one where I proclaimed how I am horrible at directions and that I shouldn’t be trusted in reverse. As crazy as the situation was, what bothered me most was the wasted dollar signs and wasted time. When Michael and I were talking about the situation, I was telling him how I wanted to learn to take these “$$$$” costing mistakes that happen, and simply learn from them and move on, rather than spend a lot of energy stressing and obsessing over something I can no longer change. He was surprised to hear that it was the money that I was getting hung up on. His words were, “Hmmmm. For me I see the money as something that we are just going to have to bite the bullet and pay, no use stressing ‘cause there is nothing I can do. However, I would be more embarrassed. Not that you embarrass me, I have been with you long enough now, I am used to you. But if I would have hit your sisters car it would have been hard for me to get over it, because I would be embarrassed.” After he finished his statement I was certainly glad to know that he is used to my shenanigans and he has been with me long enough that he has come to expect them therefore is not embarrassed by them. Now that is LOVE. Lol

But seriously, it was during this conversation that I realized I like to be efficient. I don’t like to “waste” time and I certainly don’t like to waste “money.” If I budget to by a new TV or go on a vacation, well, I sacrifice things like the movies, or eating out, or feeding the kids(just kidding) and I work hard to earn and save so I can afford that TV or vacation. But hitting someone’s car, that is just a waste. That is a lot of eating just thrown right out the window. Or take wasting time for instance, if I have to take the kids to the doctor and I forget to bring something to work on and get something accomplish than I am bummed that I had to sit somewhere for an hour-wasting time. It’s like, if I have 3 hours in town kid free I like to make sure I make the most of it and if I get lost and have to spend 15 minutes finding my way around what a waste.

Which brings me to the question of the night. What is a “waste” of time and what is a “waste” of money. Paying for a new bumper may seem like a waste of money, but in the grand scheme of things, I have a van, that I drive to do many fun things. I could just leave my van sit in the garage so I was sure not to back into anything but then I would miss out on a lot of life. So really I should be grateful for the opportunity to back into my sister’s car, I mean yeah, it’s not like I want to make a habit of it, oh wait, I think I have. Hopefully I will improve, but at least when I am 80 it will make for some stories at the family reunion. And wasting time, hahaha, what the heck is “wasting” time. If I love living, which I do, then how can my time be wasted? Like when I drive all the way into Lansing only to find out the Lab that was going to draw my blood today was closed. I can stress over it, or just enjoy the drive rockin’ out, singing at the top of my lungs to Christina Aguilera. Come to think of it, I am grateful for the opportunity to “waste” time! I can either spend my life obsessing over how to make my time efficient, and stressing when it’s not or I can have fun “wasting” the TIME I have, and loving every minute of it, which when you think of it, is not a “waste of time.

Ok well I will get off my “philosophical soap box. Have a great night and enjoy wasting time.

And the lesson we can learn in all this is...

2012-01-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say I wish I did NOT have blog material to write. Before I get into the current event, for those of you who are not aware of my being “directionally challenged”, I must preface this with I can get lost with a Garmin. If you would like a story on this subject refer to the blog- I am so directionally challenged.

Well, this evening Michael was taking Timmy to weigh-in for his wrestling tournament, and he offered to pick up one of Timmy’s wrestling buddies who was on the way and save some fellow parents a trip. So, before he left I told him how to get there. He questioned me, as if I had trouble with directions before, and I said to him, “I KNOW what I am talking about. I have been there. I am the taxi service around here ya know.” So with his fate in my hands he left. Meanwhile Jess and Jake stopped by for dinner so we could all hang out when Michael returned. About 15 minutes after Michael left, Jake found Michael’s phone on the couch. And about 30 minutes after that I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize only to hear Michael’s voice on the other end. He couldn’t find their house. At this time I am thinking, “seriously, it is not that hard, there are only about 5 houses on the whole street” This was odd to me because Michael is not one who gets lost, that is my role, so I just figured it was because it was dark out and he couldn’t see well. I told him I would call and have them flash their porch lights to signal him. About 20 minutes later our friends called me back saying there was still know sign of Michael. And all of a sudden I had this feeling that “Tucker” might not be the name of their road. “Oh no” I said “What is the name of your road?” I asked hoping to hear the word Tucker, knowing I wouldn’t. Sure enough I sent Michael to the wrong road and he was without his cell phone. Oh my gosh, my stomach just churned, how was I going to let Michael know he would NEVER find the right house on the road he was going up and down who knows how many times. And not to mention, I would never live this down. Our friend said he would go around the block and look for him and then just head in to weigh-ins before they closed, he thought Michael probably gave up and saw that he better get to Leslie also. Well, 10 minutes later I got a call from our friend’s wife. She informed me Michael was not on Tucker and she would let me know if her husband saw him in Leslie. Oh my gosh, I was feeling sooooo bad. I had sent my husband on a wild goose chase; sad thing is this wasn’t the first time. There had been many. One in particular I can remember was when Josh was 3 months old. He had a special $20 bottle that he had to use because he had trouble eating as a baby. I thought I left it at the Eaton Rapids football game, so freaking out about the 20-dollar bottle; I had Michael drive back into town to retrieve it. He had to jump the fence only to call me saying he couldn’t find it. “Are you sure you didn’t put it in the diaper bag.” He asked. “No, I AM sure.” I said as I went to double check, and THERE IT WAS! So today when I thought of my poor husband wandering a street I had sent him to, I just wanted to cry. I felt so helpless and guilty I just couldn’t sit there and wait, I looked at Jess and Jake and said I was going to look for him. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. Thinking back, I wonder what I expected to accomplish. There was no way he stayed on that same road for another half an hour. But logic wasn’t winning in my head. I started my van, put it in reverse and backed up, until I heard that horrible sound of metal hitting metal. “oh no” I thought. ‘please tell me I did not just back into someone.” Ya see, backing into another vehicle is a sound I am unfortunately very familiar with. In the past ten years I have backed into my sister’s vehicle twice, my mom’s once and I also ran into someone’s mail box backing out of their driveway. So yeah, reverse is not my best direction. Michael says I need a bumper sticker that reads, “Do not park behind me, you WILL get hit.” Needless to say, I jumped out of my van and saw my sister’s beautiful red traverse behind me, which until now I had managed NOT to back into despite my reputation with her old car. And keep in mind; this was now the THIRD time I had backed into one of my sister’s vehicles. I didn’t even go to check the damages; I just started crying and went back in the house. I couldn’t even talk when I came back in the door. My family rushed to me asking over and over again “what’s wrong?” My sister said jokingly “What, did you hit my car?” Through my tears I just nodded my head. “Oh, I’m kidding” she said. My mom, picking up on the fact that I wasn’t kidding, she asked, “Did you hit her car?” Still sobbing I nodded again. “What, she is serious!” my sister said with laughter at the irony and yet panic in her voice. So I just sank into the floor crying. I sent my husband to a non-existent address, I crashed my sister’s car, and I still didn’t know where Michael was or when he would be home. I told everyone to go home, I just wanted to climb in my bed and shut down. Well, they stayed with me, of course, until Michael did return. He walked through the door and with tear stained cheeks I sheepishly looked at him. “Lucy” he said with his best “Ricky Ricardo” accent, “You have some splainin to do!” It was after this comment Jake(my brother-in-law), muttered under his breath. “he doesn’t know half the “splainin” she has to do.” So yeah, I “splained” everything to Michael. And fortunately the look he gave me was the one I see so often, and that is his loving accepting grin, with a headshake. That poor man I have put him through so much and yet he just couldn’t live without me. It was then that I informed him of the lesson we all could learn from today and that is “Don’t leave home without your cell phone.”

How was your day Bo?

2012-01-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

Every night at dinner I ask the kids how their day was, this was Bo's response...

I colored a picure and then I colored another picture and Patend sits wiv me cause she loves me and thats why she sits wiv me, and then I played with trains and then it it was time to clean and I was playing the computer while they were cleaning and Dustin saw me and he told, so then I cleaned wiv dem and then we had lunch and at I was sitting wiv da girls and I burped and Brooke laughed.". And then he giggled and said. "Yeah, I burped and they laughed" and then I played and then I had another snack and then I came home.

Gotta love that kid!

2012-01-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

From time to time I like read people favorite "quotes" on Facebook. Well, I came across this vote on Connie Sweet, of Connections Graphics in Potterville. I loved it so much I decided to post it....

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

This is not going to help my reputation....

2012-01-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

Well, as we all know one of the worst fears a parent has is a child getting lost. But what about the fear of accidentally leaving a child somewhere. Yeah, sounds crazy I know, but there are so many times I am looking in my review mirror making sure I have everyone. Now I always know I have Bo, that kid is so loud all the time, I don’t have to check my mirror for him. But as for the others they get quiet sometimes and it makes me feel like I left one. It seems a mother would know if she left a child behind. Well, as if I didn’t already have a reputation at the elementary school, what happened today certainly didn’t help me any. I pulled up to the school as I always do and saw my 3 kids sitting on a bench together just waiting for me. It was quite cute actually. No body was trying to strangle the other, no body was standing at a distance trying to act as if they weren’t related to one another. Cute as can be it just melted my heart. So I pull up and saw them jump up off the bench. Kate hopped in the front seat and I could hear the others piling in the back. “Buckle up” I said as I started across the parking lot. Kate was talking to me, and Bo and Ayden(oh yeah, I had an extra too)were wrapped up in there own conversation about a topic only the two of them could understand. As I neared the stop light by the Dairy Kreme my phone rang.
“Hello.” I said
“Hi mom” said a very familiar voice on the phone.
It sounded just like Josh, but there was know way it could be Josh because he was in the backseat of my van. At least he better be because if he wasn’t that would mean I left him at………..…..
”HUH, DID I LEAVE YOU AT SCHOOL?!” I said suddenly.
“Yup” he responded.
“Oh my gosh Josh, this is not going to help my reputation.” I said looking for some sympathy.
“Nope, it isn’t.” Josh responded with a giggle.
“Ok, I am on my way.”
Oh, yes, another day in a life of a mom, well this mom anyway. I’m sure the secretary just had to shake her head. It was just this past fall I was in her office having her call the Middle school ‘cause I couldn’t find Josh, only to get the report that he was at Reaching Higher(an after school program I signed him up for once a week), where he was supposed to be.
I gotta say though, this time I wasn’t the only crazy one. I’ll have you know, Josh was sitting on the same bench as the rest of them with his nose in a book. Yes, intelligent he may be, but when that kid reads, I swear he literally enters the book. We could have a hurricane or a tornado and I don’t think he would notice. And now I am sure he wouldn’t notice his brother and sister get up off the bench next to him, get in the van, and his mom drive off and leave him there.

New Year's Resolutions?????

2012-01-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

So every year like everyone else I usually try to think of a couple New Year’s resolutions. Nothing to dramatic, just something to keep me focused on growing and moving forward in my life. Well this year I came up with…

Eating Healthy
Exercising Regularly
Keeping up on the house cleaning
Not yelling at the kids anymore
Not getting snippy with my husband

Well, I got snippy with my husband about the 55 football games he has been watching over the past 3 days, I yelled at my kids this morning. As I am writing, my kitchen looks like dinner blew up in it and there is a pile of unmatched socks at the foot of my bed that I have been adding to all of Christmas break, but who knows if I wait long enough it will probably disappear because that is where everyone is going to get there socks for the day, seeing that there are none left in there drawers. And as far as exercising goes, well other than the walk up the stairs I take before I lie down to take a nap, not much. And eating healthy, hmmmmm, let me put it to you this way…Last night I made myself sick, literally stomach gurgling sick because I ate a half a bag of those candy cane Hershey kisses I got in the half off bin at Meijer. So yeah, as I look over my list of resolutions I think to myself……. nahhhhhh , there is always next year right? lol

What to eat when the Christmas parties are over

2012-01-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

This poem was inspired by a conversation I had with one of my friends after Christmas Day. All the parties were done and the cupboards are bare, but no one wants to go to the store….

When Christmas Day is done
And every present a winner
The next day, with wrapping paper still on the floor
You open the fridge and decide what is for dinner

You have spent the day in your jammies and slippers
You don’t care that your house is not tidy and neat
As evening draws near the question remains
“What are we to eat?”

All the food is gone
Except some left over ham from the day before
Perhaps you could eat that
Since you REALLY don’t want to go to the store

Oh potatoe soup!
Your hubby said that will be great
Oh wait, you have no potatoes
I think they are a requirement for this dish to make

Not to worry
Another an idea crossed your mind
How about you create a NEW dish
You have never made, “Ham Pot Pie”

This would be great
And it will only take half and hour
Too bad you made 8 pies for Christmas
And now you have no flour

Oh well, how about breakfast for dinner
The family votes and all agreed
This is sure to shake things up
We will have omelets with ham and cheese

You went to the fridge thinking…
“Oh the kids think this is the best”
Only to feel defeated
When you found the fridge was egg less

Oh my gosh
Creating a meal should not be so hard
Now they are all looking at you
Wondering if they will starve

Finally with all the kids standing there
Asking “Mom what should we eat?”
You grabbed a loaf of bread and threw it on the table
Along with the Christmas ham and some cheese, and said “bon appetit”

The moments we live for.

2011-12-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

I was watching a drama on TV tonight about a missing kid. Usually I refuse to watch any type of show pertaining to a missing kid. Shows like that just mess me up for a week. But it was just one of the episodes in this drama series I regularly watch. It wasn’t too intense, like the movie Ransom, that I will NEVER watch again. But in the end the son was reunited with his parents and as I watched the scene my Mother’s heart was moved. The music was playing, “of course”, and the police officer wrapped the child in a blanket and carried him to the parents. As I watched the parents run for their son, and the police officer place him in their arms and the mom kissed his forehead, I just thought “Yup, that is all that matters.” Parenting is an amazing experience, but it also can be brutal at times, raising human beings with minds of their own. But no matter what trials you may go through, they only thing that matters is that each of my children is in my arms and I kiss their forehead. As I watched that scene, I could feel what it feels like to kiss each of my kids on the forehead, or hold each of them in my arms, and I just thank God that I get to do just that. So as these holidays approach, and things get busy, whether it be last minute Christmas shopping or 4 kids home on break tearing up the house, remember to take your kids in your arms and kiss their foreheads. Those are the moments we live for.

Just another day in paradise!

2011-12-07T19:22:00.001-08:00

The following is a story from last week that I just didn’t have time to write until this week…..

The day was too good to be true. Travis was over and he and Bo played and played and played. Not one squabble between the two. Jackie had packed a lunch for Travis, which included a lunch for Bo, so I didn’t even need to make lunch for them. Seriously, how much easier can it get. Then the phone rang. It was the elementary school. Apparently I needed to bring Timmy some new pants. I was confused, and the secretary seemed to be confused also as to why my 2nd grader needed new pants. So they put him on the phone and these were Timmy’s words. “Um mom, I went to the bathroom, and while I was standing there peeing I was looking up at the walls and the ceiling just singing some songs, and when I looked down I saw that my pants were wet.” So basically he just missed. I almost just picked all the kids up then seeing it was 1:15 and I had to pick everyone up at 1:40 for a doctors appointment. Wait! No I DON’T! I have to pick them up at 2:40! Oh I better let the teachers know the actual time when I take Timmy his pants.

I left Bo and Travis with my mom just so this blog didn’t double in length with stories of me chasing Bo through the school, while I try to help Timmy get changed. Once Timmy was all set I headed down to inform Timmy’s teacher that I emailed her the wrong time. Ya see, she emailed me earlier asking what time I was picking Timmy up because she was “confused” by my note. I just assumed it was my handwriting, so I emailed her back the incorrect time of 1:40. Nope, apparently I had written that I would need to pick Timmy up at 3:40, mind you school ends at 2:55. Yup, just another day the teachers get to know who I REALLY am. “That Mom”(any of my regular readers know what those quotations mean) lol

After we all were sure what time I was picking the kids up I went to my moms to get Travis and Bo and hoped to vacuum my house before I had to go back to the school at 2:40. However, just as I was about to load the kids in the van I saw my rear tire was totally flat. Ugh!!!!! Really? I don’t do COLD and I don’t do FLAT TIRES! And I certainly didn’t want to do them both at the same time. Usually I call my road side service, ya know, 1-800-MY MAN! But work is so busy right now he couldn’t come to my rescue. So there I was, my hands freezing while I filled my tire with air.

I then rushed the kids to the car, picked up other kids from school, and went to trade vehicles with Michael so I could make it to holt for the doctor appointment. When I carried Bo to the truck I realized he didn’t have a coat and to top it off he was barefoot. He had gone to the van so fast I didn’t even notice. By the time I made it to holt it was raining balls of ice and I walked through the door with a barefoot Bo. Yeah, I didn’t look like the most responsible parent that day. But no call from social services yet, so I must still be meeting the minimum requirement as a parent. lol

2011-12-06T18:58:00.001-08:00

Jeans shopping. I am not sure what is worse, jeans shopping or changing a diaper of a 1 year old with diarrhea, on the side of the road, while it is snowing. Hmmmm. It’s a toss up. Guys just don’t have any idea how hard it is for us to jeans shop. They just go in there with their latitude and longitude numbers and swipe a card. Not us girls. We go to the dressing room with 2 different sizes cause some brands run bigger than others. And then you have the whole ”shape” thing to consider. Some look good on your thighs but sag in the butt. Some give you that booty you always wanted yet the thighs are so tight you might need and amputation by the end of the day! The ones that look great on the butt and thighs are too long or too short. And then we have low rise, mid rise and high rise. Personally I don’t know why low rise so popular. Seriously, growing up we always felt sorry for the kids whose butt crack showed in class, and now seeing a “moon” is part of everyday life. I mean seriously, have we all been so impressed with the long time phrase “plumbers butt” that we now strive to maintain such a reputation. I do wear them myself. Trying to defy my age, hoping to look trendy. However, personally I wish the “mom” jeans would be the trendy style. I actually have a pair that I only wear with sweatshirts so no one will know. But they are great. No one gets a surprise look at my bright white moon, and they give me a place to tuck the excess miss placed skin from carrying 4 babies for 9 months each. Well, actually 8 months, ‘cause just like I cook every meal on high, I cooked my babies on high also. Still they were 8 and 9 pounds each and I couldn’t get enough ice cream with anyone of them. So I like to tuck whatever stretched out shin I have down into my mom jeans, it’s just more comfortable. But even the high wasted pants give me that “plumberie” look. So I guess high wasted really just means “ a little higher than the low rise. Well, there is my soap box, can ya tell what I did today.

R & R

2011-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

I wasn’t feeling well Monday. I could feel a cold starting. So after Michael took the kids to school(including Bo, he goes 2 times a week, it is wonderful) I jumped back into bed! I slept until noon. I woke up here and there and had thoughts of everything I should be getting done, while I was paying someone else to watch my kid. But I let go of the guilt, and just rested. I picked up the kids that day and just did minimal clean up. I made a nice pot of hot chili, and the kids and I watched cartoons before they went to bed. It was GREAT! Especially after such a busy week with 2 Thanksgiving, one that was 4 hours from here. It got me thinking about how, as parents, we can be sooooo busy that to take some R & R can be hard to do guilt free. There are always a million things to do. And it is easy to give and give. And it is common to get to the point when we feel bad about just taking some time for ourselves. But that “day off” I gave myself Monday was just what I needed. It felt great, and I still feel a little bit of that cold, but I believe it’s on its way out! So before the craziness of Christmas gets here, don’t forget to take a little R & R for your self.

Answers to...You know you need new brain cells when...

2011-11-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

The tooth fairy fails to complete her duties for the fifth night in a row. Just sayin'. ~Janet

You look in the same spot for your purse three times before you finally see that it's actually there. ~Janet

You check your cell phone to see what time it is and have to check it twice more to remember to look at the time. ~ Janet

You put your trash in the sink and throw away your dinner dishes. ~Julie

You call the dentist's office to see if you left your bite guard on the counter and find it in your purse. ~Theresa

When you send your kids off on the bus and wonder why there is a backpack strapped to your shoulder! ~Susan

You yell "Go Blue" at your boy's basketball team and it's halftime! ~Laura

I was talking to mom while driving to work and feeling around my purse to find my phone, i was so frustrated because i thought i figured i left my phone at home so i turn around and then realize that i was on the phone...all the while i was telling mom all of this and she never even realized it....lol... The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...lol ~Katie

Talk, Talk, Talk!

2011-11-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh, Bo talks to EVERYONE! I did grocery shopping today and Bo talked to everyone he passed. And to top it off his favorite word these day is Why? I was reading a Dr. Suess book to him yesterday and after every page he would ask, why? Yeah. Try explaining “why” Dr. Suess’ characters do what they do. Anyway, every time he saw someone stocking shelves he would ask “What you doing?” followed by “Why?” Then he was putting the brown sugar in my cart. I usually pull the items off the shelf and he puts them in the cart. Well, before he put the sugar into the cart he noticed it smelled funny to him. “Mom, mom, smell this, it smells yucky.” So to humor him I smell the sugar and then go on reading prices of items on the shelf. And then I looked toward my cart just in time to see him sticking the bag of brown sugar under an older ladies nose, saying “Smell this it smells yucky.” The woman was a good sport about it, she just laughed as I tried to apologize for my sons unawareness of the “personal space” box. “Bo, go put the sugar in the cart.” I said as I went back to scanning the items on the shelf. And I looked up to check on Bo again, I saw him walking over to a man stocking shelves, holding his sugar high in the air, saying “smell this it smells yucky.” “Bo! No, he doesn’t want to smell your sugar, now put it in the cart!” I said sternly, afraid he might just shove his bag of sugar in the guys face whether he wanted to smell it or not. Fortunately that was the end of asking people to smell things. He still talked to everyone we past, asking them what they were doing and why they were doing it. It took me forever to get through the grocery store just because Bo had to be social with EVERYONE. That kid can talk all day! I am sure he gets it from his DAD. LOL

To the finish line.

2011-11-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

I went for a run the other day, something I used to hate doing I now crave. I don’t really crave the run itself, I crave the feeling that comes afterward. It is a great stress relief and I have more energy when I exercise regularly. But I noticed something when I ran the other day. I had made it around the track twice and had to stop and walk for a few seconds, and then finished my mile jogging. I noticed that while I was walking the chatter in my mind was not my favorite. I wanted to just RUN the whole mile, I felt like by walking for 15 seconds I was coming up short. Even though my results would still be the same. I would complete my mile and still feel that wonderful feeling after a good workout. And it reminded me of how I handle my life at times. Pushing, and pushing to get it all done at once. My all or nothing mentality, whether it be as a wife, parent or life coach, always pushing to complete the next task or step. But sometimes it feels good to just walk for minute. Sometimes we get so focused on the finish line we forget to enjoy the run, even if it means slowing down and walking for a minute.

Attention all Parents!!!!

2011-11-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

Attention All Parents. I am doing a Value Based Parenting Class in Jackson starting next Tuesday, November 8th. through December 6th.

Classes will be once a week for 5 weeks. It is a great program, I absolutely love using the techniques in my own family.

For more information check out my website at JamieLightner.com

The info is on the "Events" page and there are also personally testimonies on the "Testimonial" page.

And here is a video for some fun in the "ParentHood"

You know you need new brain cells when...

2011-11-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

You know you need some new brain cells when you check your left pocket of your coat for your keys and then with your left hand you take the keys out of your right hand so that you can check your right pocket for your keys that you can’t find only to find them now in your left hand. Yeah. I did that today, right after I talked to a principal about having me teach a Value Based Parenting class at her school. Ha ha ha. Uh huh! I can’t seem to find the keys, in my hand, hopefully I know where all my kids are, and by the way, “I teach a parenting class.”

I just had to laugh. It got me thinking about all the funny things we do. Things like putting the mail in the freezer, looking for our sunglasses while they are on our head, or talking to our husbands on our cell phone about how we can’t remember where we left our cell phone. Just the other day I was looking for a pen and after I found one I realized I also had one behind each ear.

After laughing at these ironic scenarios, I thought it would be fun to hear more. I am sure I am not the only crazy one! So if you want to email me or post under my facebook post, I will make a list and post it in my next blog.

So finish this sentence…

You know you need some new brain cells when…

My sis the life coach?????

2011-10-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I was struggling today. I was just emotional and having a tough time pulling myself together. I haven’t been exercising lately and that does help a lot when it comes to clearing unnecessary stresses out of my head. But today I just wanted to go back to bed. Problem is I already went back to bed and it was now noon, and I really needed to get up. So I did what any well-trained life coach would do when needing to deal with some emotions. I called my sis and said, let’s leave the kids with boys and go get coffee! As we sat there in those chairs by a fire place listing to the clanking of spoons, the milk steamer make that weird sound it makes that should be annoying, yet I find it fun, and the blender mixing another yummy drink for someone else, I just started babbling to her about the thoughts in my brain. My thoughts of uncertainty about my marketing abilities basically. I was getting ready for an expo, and getting ready to put another parenting class together and now that I am 1 week away I started obsessing over the tasks I should have done but didn’t think to do. Talking about what a terrible marketer I am. I love being a life coach, but as for the marketing side, yeah, not really my gig. Look there I go complaining again. Anyway, I gave my sister my sob story and she so sweetly looked at me and said, ok do you just want to vent or did you want some ideas.” That’s the way my sis and I work. We know sometimes we just need to blow off some steam and then we realize it’s not worth stressing over and we move on, and sometimes we just frankly want to vent and just marinate in our misery cause we just don’t feel like moving forward for a sec, and then other times we are open for answers from others. But we are willing to be whatever the other needs us to be in the moment. So today when she asked me if I wanted help, I said yes. And then her sweet expression vanished into thin air, and this is what she said…..”Jamie, what is wrong with you? Did you hear anything I said last week? What is wrong with you? This is not what you are supposed to be doing. You are not supposed to be sitting here talking about all the things you are not good at. You know you are a good life coach so start believing you have exactly the marketing abilities you need to get you where you want to go. I told you last week that we needed to start going after what we want in life and believe positively about each step we take, and you are not listening. Was I speaking English when I said this to you or was I suddenly bilingual and accidentally slipped into another language and left you dazed and confused. Seriously, how many times do I have to say this to you.” As I stared at here laughing at her “gentle” approach, I had to agree with her. It’s like that famous saying by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, YOU ARE RIGHT! So what are you thinking?

Attention all writers

2011-10-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

Attention all writers. I have an offer for all you moms who like to dabble with the writing. I have decided to feature, here and there, stories of moms like me. One of the reasons I started this blog was to let other moms know that we are more alike than we often think. And the mom’s from the TV shows in the 50’s, well let’s face it, if we had someone to do our hair and make up, then maybe we would cook and bathe the kids every night too.

So I thought I would give other mom’s an opportunity to share their ebay moments, or sleepless nights, or those times you want to pretend the kids standing next to you in the grocery store aren’t really yours. Now I know what you may be thinking, “Jamie, you are just having a hard time keeping up with writing everyday and now you are trying to pawn off your job.” Well, you are exactly right! But hey, it will put some new stories from different personalities out there to. But I figure it will be fun hearing some other stories too!!! And give me a chance to prove I am not the only crazy one. lol

So, if you have a story please email it to me jamielightner@yahoo.com. As long as I feel it is a good fit for this particular blog, I will post it! So happy writing. I look forward to hearing from you!

A story from my Sis

2011-10-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

All in the day of a Mom

I am so proud of my little man!! He is going to be 3 in September and he wore his big boy undies today for the morning and kept them dry the whole time :) My morning started out pretty good. A friend of mine stopped by with some grass fed beef that I can't wait to taste. We had coffee and caught up on life. I made Ayden breakfast, cooked my dessert to take to my meeting tonight, got both my boys dressed and even fed my porky one all by 11. My floors were swept, I vacuumed my stairs (Which Im not even going to say how long its been) toilets clean, started the shopping list for this weekend and did bills. Wow!!! I was Wonder Woman! Well then Zayne decided he wanted to get cranky about an hour before he was supposed to go back to sleep. I try to keep him awake after his morning nap til 1:30 so I can lay both my boys down. Even Wonder Woman needs quiet time :) So I tell myself were gonna hold him off. I have been doing great all morning, and hour should be a piece of cake. Hah! I throw some onions in a pan to cook up for some stir fry for lunch, start making Zayne a bottle and try and mix up some banana bread in the process. Zayne is literally on my legs so I can't get from one end of the kitchen to the next. I burnt the onions while running upstairs to get Ayden a pair of pants because it's “too cold” to ride his gator. I just want to look at him and let him know it's still summer. Try to save the onions which now look like black and brown worms, but I decide to keep them anyway. Throw in some peas and corn, little brown rice, pink salmon and some tamari sauce and all is good. Give Ayden a bowl and begin cleaning my kitchen up while putting whiny butt in his high chair for some peas. A few minuets later Ayden comes to me with a disgusted look on his face and tells me he doesn't like it. I go over to the stove and taste my stir fry. YUCK!!!! Yup burnt onions don't hide well. We scratch lunch and have Popsicles instead. We head upstairs for some toy room time. Going up the stairs with porky I tell myself there is my workout for the day when I notice Ayden reaching for his buns. “Do you have to go poop? Tell me so you don't go in your underwear” “Um...nope...” We get to the top of the stairs and he suddenly looks up at me and says “Yup....I do”. We run into my bathroom, rip his skibby's down and plop him on the pot. Sure enough to little logs came out and we rejoiced. However in the middle of our potty party I realized porkums was gone. I run out to the hall remembering I didn't shut the gate and get there just in time to grab him from tumbling down the stairs. GEEZ!!!! I bring him back into the bathroom to find my son had gotten off the toilet himself and was so proud. I was doing the fake “yeah” face because all I could see were the brown streak marks on my seat and was hoping no dingle berries feel off as he jumped around in excitement. I laid him on the floor to wipe him up and he started to ask me about baby Zayne.....BABY ZAYNE!!!! I jumped up from wiping Aydens bum, run into the bathroom, grab Zaynes hand just before he reached for the terd that was still floating in the water. The toilet is his fun place right now :( I shut the lid flushed the toilet and came out to see Ayden wiping his own butt. So proud he was. I just looked at him and decided to bleach his hands and in the tub they both go. Thank goodness nap time was minuets away!!! For all those men out there that think we sit at home watching Days of Our Lives, eating bon bons...try this one on for size. Because all of us women know the turnout of this story had a man been in charge and not Wonder Woman Mom :)

You might be a parent if...

2011-10-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

My goal is to, at least once a month, post videos! Here is my first one!!!

The best dad in the world!

2011-10-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

I was standing at my fridge getting a glass of water, listening to the kids laughing with their Dad in the other room when one by one, including Michael, they all went running by screaming and chasing each other. And then moments later that all ran back by, still screaming, shouting and laughing, till they all ended up in one big pile in the living room. Ya know, there are times I wish my husband would act more like a grown up and get the kids to bet on time, make sure they bathe enough and tell them to put their clothes in the dirty laundry when they take them off. I wouldn’t even mind if he put his own clothes in the hamper, it be like the cherry on top of an ice cream Sunday. But setting a few concerns aside I am glad I married and over sized kid. I love that more of my stuff has been broken by the balls my husband has thrown in the house. It keeps me young and makes me laugh. I love that he rolls in the floor with them. I love that he can take on all five of us in a wrestling match, kids and mom versus Dad. I love that he can remind me of what really matters. And sometimes what really matters is running through the house like hooligans. So as I throw his dirty socks in the hamper, I stay “Thanks for being the coolest Dad in the world.”

Can I get an "AMEN SISTA!"

2011-10-18T19:03:00.000-07:00

I gotta say, after a long day, there is nothing like a comfy pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Between my regular job of motherhood and on top of that marketing to get the Value Based Parenting class into more schools, and on top of that working a TurningLeaf Seminar last week, it seems my hours are racking up. And then today I watched my sister’s kids for her. Now that my youngest is 4, I seem to struggle a bit going back to the “eating small objects and stale macaroni off the floor” stage. But just to make sure I have absolutely no chance of ever getting baby fever again, lol, I took Bo and my sister’s two kids to Meijer today. Bo and Ayden weren’t terrors, but they were very energetic and excited to be in Meijer together. The trip sounded a lot like this, “Bo and Ayden slow down! Get back here! Don’t climb on that! Ewww, gross, Ayden, don’t put your mouth on that.” They did have to take a few time outs hanging on to the cart. But for the most part they were just LOUD. I have no doubt that if my sister had walked into Meijer at that same time today, WITHOUT her cell phone, she would have been able to find me quite easily. And as for Zayne, her 1 year old, well he was pretty quiet. He just kept trying to eat my groceries the more they got to his reach. And then I made the mistake of putting my bananas, the last item to get, right in the seat next to him. It wasn’t until I unloaded my groceries onto the conveyer belt that I noticed he had bitten a chunk out of one of my bananas, skin and all. I had to stick my finger into his slobbery mouth and retrieve the skin so he wouldn’t choke. Gross! Thanks goodness that kid is so cute. Lol Then tonight our evening was filled with soccer in the rain, boy scouts, and other work I had to get done. So by the end of my day I was so ready for my sweats. I actually got excited going up the stairs as I anticipated my comfy sweats, a t-shirt, my bed, and my TV remote. Can I get an “AMEN SISTA!”

Oh to be a woman!

2011-10-07T19:04:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my last post concerning my vacation. Our cruise was over. I said my goodbyes, with tears in my eyes. (As I said in my earlier post, I am such a sap) My family and I crossed the gangway, and were waiting in line for a taxi. As we waited there talking of our favorite parts of the trip, my stomach started cramping. Well, ya see, it was “that time of the month.” I am trying to be sensitive with my wording, just in case any guys are reading. Ya know how they are when you say the word “period.” Ooops, to late now. Anyway, my husband saw my pain and asked if I was ok. “Oh yeah, as soon as I can sit I will be fine.” I responded. Well, it came out of know where. Next thing I know I am lying across my son in the back seat moaning in pain. And then to make matters worse I got very nauseous. I was squeezing Michael’s hand and breathing as if I was having contractions. I just kept telling myself, “Seriously Jamie, you have birthed 4 children without an epidural, surely you can handle some menstrual cramps.” I kept debating in my head how much longer I had be for I vomited all over this poor cabby’s back seat. I wanted to just pull over but I didn’t want the meter to keep ticking. I can just see that when recording receipts. “Two dollars for Jamie to throw up on the side of the highway.” Those cab rides aren’t cheap. But I finally just couldn’t take it anymore. With tears streaming down my face I leaned up and whimpered to Michael. “you better get me outa here, I am going to barf all over the place.” Telling the cab driver of my predicament, we made our way to an off ramp. As soon as the car stopped Michael helped me out. And there I was bent over the weeds on the side of the highway somewhere in L.A, still trying not to throw up, cause I HATE throwing up. Now that I wasn’t being jostled around in the back of a “LA cab ride”(reference to my first day of vacation post) I was feeling a bit better. I got back in the cab, still breathing like a woman in labor. I felt pretty silly. It’s not like I had a great story like “hey we are having a baby” nope, it was “hey I am having my period” oh yeah, that is something you want to broadcast. We made it to the airport, and I walked in, found a spot by the wall and just lay down. Michael found me some Motrin in our suitcase and I took the maximum dosage. We were a sight. While Michael checked out bag the kids (Josh and Kate) just sat next to me, while I was lying there on the floor, still without a cool story. Fortunately no one asked what was wrong with me. Not exactly the story the kids want to take back to show and tell. After about 20 minutes my drugs kicked in and I was fine. I am glad it was short lived, but still a bit embarrassed. Oh well, at least I got a blog out of it. What else was I going to write about. Bo wasn’t with us. lol

Still playing tourist.

2011-10-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

Our next port was in Puerto Vallarta. I wasn’t quite as panicked. Things had gone quite well the day before, and this time we were hangin with another family that were close friends of ours. So I definitely felt safer with our bigger group. Now I wasn’t just a dazed and confused looking “gringo”, we were a whole pack of dazed and confused “gringos.” Lol

Again we hopped off the boat hoping to scout out our own deals for the day, unaffiliated with the cruise. We were instructed to walk further away from the cruise and find a Taxi, rather than hopping in the first one off the boat. We walked for what seemed like a mile, but Michael said it wasn’t that far, we just kept shaking are heads “no” the whole way, to what seemed like 50 cab drivers, but was probably 15. Finally, we were away from the swarm and Michael negotiated with a local cab company. And off we went to a beach! Again! We just couldn’t get enough of the ocean, not to mention it was the least expensive activity on the menu. Lol Amazingly enough we found a van that all 9 of us could ride in. After about 30 minutes of driving to the outskirts, so it seemed, the thought of abduction crossed my mind once again. I thought to myself, “Yeah, this is the part in the movies when the music makes you feel on edge, and you are looking at the character, talking out loud to your TV saying, “why didn’t you just book with your cruise director, your life is worth the extra money.” And then we turned the last corner, and there we were, on the outskirts of a rain forest, on a beach in Mexico! We all piled out of the van and made our way to the beach where we were solicited by a local “resturantish” owner. If we ordered some snacks we could lounge under a big umbrella for our personal group only. We kept repeating ourselves to make sure both parties were on the same page, and then accepted the deal. And then we were bombarded by local sales people. They were selling things ranging from dresses and blankets to jewelry, tattoos and massages. Our waiter put up a sign on our umbrella that read, “No Vendors please.” And finally, relaxation was obtainable. That is until our friend talked to someone walking by selling jewlry, and boom, like flies on manure, the whole pile of peddlers were back! We said NO, and pointed to our sign 50 more times till the sales ceased once again. After that we were careful not to talk to anyone else again!

Overall it was quite the experience. The ocean was wonderful, and we seemed to experience an authentic part of Mexico. The whole restaurant was open air, no doors to walk through to get in, and a straw roof on top. The floors were cobblestone, as was the road that led us to our little hut. As I walked to the restroom I saw little open air rooms, with massage beds in them. It was quite primitive, yet still cute and quaint.

On our way back to the boat, we stopped in town to do some shopping at the flea market. Now there is an experience. Although, it was kinda like the American theme of always the “Best Sale Ever” that a store has 3 times a year. All we kept hearing was, “I make you a real good price. Best price for the pretty lady. Come Senorita, I make you the best price. Best price Just for YOU, Just for today!!! Nobody, give you a price like me.” If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of those lines I could have bought a lot more souvenirs for a “really special price.” Although I gotta say, my favorite line of the whole sales pitches was, “I have Mexican junk. You want the best Mexican junk for almost free?!”

It was quite an experience. As fun as it was, it was still a relief to get back on the boat. There ain’t nothing like the good ole US of A! I thank God for Blessing America! It is a blessed nation.

I just want to go to the beach!

2011-10-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

The evening we left Long Beach it was cold and cloudy and I was looking forward to the hot sun of Mexico to shine on me. I use these vacations to stock up on the sun before I am sent back to the land of “clouds.” It is funny, my friends in Utah talk of the reservoirs of water, I have a reservoir of sunlight, and I like when I can get it filled! Thankfully, the hurricane in the area moved on through and the sun was out the very next day. Gotta love those lazy see days. It gives you time to relax before you enter a foreign country. I don’t know if the Mexican ports were more stressful than the Caribbean Ports I went to 8 years ago, or if I was just more stressed because I was wondering through a foreign county with my children. It felt as though our family was carrying around a sign that said “I am a tourist, come and sell me something for more than it is worth.” There definitely was no chance of blending. I felt like in the movies when the white guy sticks out like a sore thumb and is called a “gringo.” And to make matters even more confusing, we were trying to save money. So we didn’t book any excursions through the cruise. We just got off the boat and tried to find a water taxi to take us to the beach. We were bombarded by all kinds of natives with their little signs, telling us of their excursions. I felt quite overwhelmed with the situation. Our cruise director had told us the night before of how careful we needed to be. He told us to be specific when making a deal. Make sure if you agree on a $10 ride it includes everyone in your group, so they don’t tell you $10 a person when you get there, 3 miles down the road. So I was already paranoid about getting taken advantage of when my husband, all of a sudden, makes a deal with a guy who was now pushing me into a little boat. Choking back the tears of panic I was beginning to come unglued. Michael had cut a deal and paid for the round trip up front. So now I am thinking, who knows if they are taking us to the beach we want to go to, but now that they have our money, who is to say they aren’t just going to leave us there. As we rode and chatted with the captain of our little water taxi, I began to calm down. He did seem like a good guy, just tryin’ to make a living. Not some “gringo-napper”, so I didn’t think we were in danger. He dropped us off at the beach we were looking for and promised to pick us up at the same place 3 hours later. As we watched him float away Michael just looked at me and said, “Well, if he actually comes back we got a good deal. If not, we will have to spend a bit more to get a taxi home.” “Oh well, now.” I thought. Might as well enjoy the experience of the ocean in Cobo. I figure if it was going to be an expensive trip to the beach it may as well be a fun one. So we played in the ocean, and explored the beach. It was amazing. And wouldn’t ya know, our boat guy came back for us! If I am ever in Cobo again, I will know just who to look up. lol

What matters most- Vacation, vacation, vacation!

2011-10-03T19:38:00.001-07:00

Well it seems for the past few years my family has been blessed with the ability to travel, and I am very grateful for the opportunities we have had. This past week we had the opportunity to go on a cruise to Mexico. A very dear friend of mine got married last weekend and invited a group of her friends and relatives to join them on their honeymoon cruise! Sounds funny I know, but what a blast. Ya, see not only is she my friend but she is a colleague of mine through TurningLeaf. As crazy as it my sound, the company I work with is more like a “family” than co-workers. So I was cruising with about 15 people I absolutely love. Mike and I also brought Josh and Kate. Now, normally we would not have invited our children, usually we would have used a big beautiful boat in the middle of the ocean as an escape from parenthood. But another colleague of mine was bringing his and they were the same age as mine. And the funny thing about your kids getting older, is they are more fun to hang with, rather than just little energizer bunnies you have to chase. The kids were great on the cruise. When they weren’t hangin with there new found friends, they were off to their own, “no parents allowed” club. In fact when my daughter was in the front row at a comedy show, the comedian asked her if she had to go to her club so the parents could get a break from the kids, and her response was, “no we go there so us kids can get a break from the parents.” Not quite what the comedian expected, but it did help him get a few extra laughs.

So not to bore you, I will divide the trip up into a couple blogs, and give you the details I thought to be interesting. Starting out with the wedding in long beach, the night before we embarked on our voyage. The wedding was actually beautiful and perfect. I even cried. I am such a sap these days. It seems the older I get the sappier I get. I cry when babies are born, when people get married, and apparently I also cry when I have to leave my friends after a week long cruise, but that is a later story. Anyway, as I was saying the wedding was great it was the cab rides that were dramatic. “Get me to the church on time.” Well, he did, only it wasn’t a church it was a beach. Oh my gosh, cab drivers in Long Beach will make you a praying person. I am a praying person anyway, God and I chat everyday, but I think I talked to him the whole 10 minute ride to and from the wedding. Oh my gosh. Climb in the cab and off we go whipping out onto the street. It was like the driver thought I was having a baby and he was rushing us to the hospital. And there were some moments when we were shifting in and out of lanes I thought the next stop just might be the hospital. It was at this point in time I let any fear of my boat sinking or getting captured by pirates go, and figured if I survived the cab rides, the boat would probably be the least of my worries. Besides our room was on floor 12, so it would be one of the last to sink. Only problem was I had misunderstood. My room number was 1268. Deck 12, room 68, right?! As we were walking down the gang way we were counting up the Decks. Whoa. Deck 12 looked as though it had big windows on the whole wall of the cabin. Oh I could hardly wait to open my widow and feel the fresh air through my room. But nope, the room was actually number 268. Yup, so you know what that means. My Deck would be the FIRST to go under. As we stepped into the cabin and saw our box of a window, which of course did not open, my claustrophobia kicked into high gear. However, when I quite thinking of the Titanic I began to enjoy looking at the ocean out of my little box. After all I did survive the cab ride, right!

Well, I feel as though I am getting long winded. Tune in tomorrow and I will talk about Mexico. I definitely felt like a “gringo.”

Can you imagine "not" having kids?

2011-09-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

The other day Michael and I were trying to remember our life before kids. We had gone to a wedding and were looking at the newlyweds and reminiscing of our own wedding, which lead the line, “Remember what it was like before kids.” We had to work really hard to remember. Michael and I found out we were expecting after being married for 5 months. So after 13 years of marriage, it is a little difficult to remember the one year with out kids. The one year we could decide to go to dinner and not have to figure out who was going to watch the kids. The one year we didn’t have to think about packing the diaper bag. We would just grab a jacket and go. No baby carrier, no pack-n-play, no portable high chair. The one year I arrived to a gathering with my hair DONE, and no extra accessorizing, such as drool, spit up, or stale food on my shirt. The one year I would walk through my door at the end of a long day, grab a bowl of cereal for dinner, throw my PJ’s on, and watch TV. Nobody else to feed, bathe, and put to bed. The one year I wasn’t a taxi service to someone half my size who seems to have more of a life than I do. After Michael and I laughed about how that year seems like make-believe at this point in time, he looked at me and said. “Can you imagine not having kids now.” Suddenly the last 12 years flashed before my eyes. All the 1st steps, and 1st words. All the coloring on the walls, cars in toilets and TV remote controls in my cup of water. All the soccer games, T-ball games, and basketball games. All the school plays, choir and band concerts. All the good night kisses. And most of all the laughter. I love that my house is filled with kids laughing. It warms my heart and makes me forget all my cares. My kids mean the world to me. And I am so glad to have each and everyone! So NO I can’t imagine not having kids.

Back to the Baby groove. It's just like riding a bike...Not really.

2011-09-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

So because I have had four kids, one of which was “Bo”, I sometimes feel like I am a “Pro” at having kids over. What’s one more, right? Well, every time my sis has me baby-sit, I realize, you forget real quick what a one-year-old is like. Occasionally I let each of my kids have a friend over all on the same day, Bo included. And those days are easier than the morning I recently spent with my sisters little ones here. In between doing dishes I had to run after Zayne, one time saving HIM from the stairs and another time saving my office from HIM. I have a toy room full of toys, but he would rather chew on my pens and bang on my computer. And while I was chasing Zayne, Ayden was down stairs squirting the shampoo form Josh’s bathroom onto Bo’s tent. While Bo just laughed at him. And he colored on my walls with Bo’s markers, at least those are washable. Later that day when the kids were home from school, Timmy nonchalantly came up to me and said, “Mom is Zayne allowed to have cheese popcorn?” “Um NO” I said “Is he eating some?” I asked “Yeah” Timmy so casually answered, as I ran down the hall to apprehend Zaynes mid afternoon snack he found on the floor. Whew, you would think going back to the “Baby thing” would be like riding a bike- Apparently not. Lol

Well, at least I know if MY kids don’t succeed in teaching me patience, I always have my sisters kids to finish off the job. lol

My Bossy "Foreman"

2011-09-12T19:02:00.001-07:00

You may have noticed that Bo has not been giving me as much blog material as he used to. I am finding he is trading in some of his toddler mischief’s for a pair of bossy pants. Rather than coloring on the walls, or playing in the toilet, he insists on “working.” And it’s not like he is working “for me” - he wants to be the boss of himself, AND me. Lately he insists on loading the dishwasher himself, telling ME where he thinks the soap should go and how much to put in. I usually just put soap in one of the compartments, he likes to use both, but then I end up drinking soap later. Yesterday he put a load of clothes in the washer, including who knows how much soap, and started it before I even knew it. Yes, he is helpful and that is great but heaven forbid you HELP or even make a suggestion as to how to do his job. He has been vacuuming lately too, but he is getting better at that. I haven’t had to pull a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or any action figures out of the hose lately. So that is nice and it keeps him busy for a ½ hour or so. I gotta say, the kid is going to go far in life. How many babies of the family work their way to the “managers” position, bossing their 3 older siblings around. He went from having 5 bosses to me threatening him with…”If you don’t let me help you, then you can’t clean my house!” Really! LOL I can’t believe those words come out of my mouth.

Always Kiss Me Goodbye

2011-09-05T19:53:00.001-07:00

Kate and I were taking a girls day out today. I ran back into the house to get a jacket and before I walked out again I walked up to Michael, who was standing a the stove making grilled cheese sandwiches, and I stood by him and tilted my head waiting for another good bye kiss. Michael turned to look at me and Bo, who was sitting at the kitchen table said, “Kiss her Dad!” With a grin on his face Michael did what he was told. And on my way out the door I stopped and got a kiss from Bo. Then I had to come back in the house again for something ELSE I forgot. I stopped back by the stove to get another kiss from my man, and as I stood there with my held tilted once again, Bo said, “Kiss her again Dad!” Laughing, once again Michael did what he was told. On my way out I kissed Bo once again, and Bo looked at me and said, “You really like those kisses, don’tcha mom.” What a cutie I tell ya.

Laugh like a kid!

2011-08-26T20:20:00.001-07:00

What is it about watching kids laugh and play that is so rejuvenating? I took my kids to the splash pad today, and as I watched them giggle and chase each other through the 20 different devices shooting water in all different directions I just felt my heart lighten. The past few days have been filled with some of life’s many “adventures.” Two days ago my air conditioning quit working in my, again. Mind you, this is after we just spent bucket load to FIX it. Then that same day, at the beach with my mom, someone stole her purse out of my van. They must have opened my side door, which we just discovered the lock is sticking on it. Some times it sticks locked, sometimes it sticks unlocked. Yet another thing that needs to be fixed on my van. And today I went to Belle Tire, AGAIN, to get my NEW tires FIXED, AGAIN. Fortunately it was a factory error, so no money out of my pocket, just time out of my day. But after Belle Tire, the kids and I headed up the road to a near by splash pad for some fun. As I sat their in the warm beautiful sun watching them, all my worries and frustrations just didn’t seem to be worth thinking about. It was as if I absorbed their carefree attitude and the magic in their laughter melted my cares away.

During our time there I notice this guy, who looked like the Grandfather of the little boy following him around. This guy, except for the gray hair in his beard and hair, looked just like one of the kids. He wasn’t just following the kid around. He was standing enthusiastically under dumping buckets, diving through waterfalls, and even had a shoot out with water cannons with one of MY kids. Hillarious.

Soon the kids fun was so contagious I had to join! I didn’t look nearly as kid-like as the “Grandpa” but it was fun running through the tunnels and letting Bo shoot me with the water cannon. I even stood under the dumping bucket, per Josh’s orders. Lol It is amazing what we can learn from our kids!

Don't eat and drive...a cart.

2011-08-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

I had a softball tournament tonight, that was fun, but by the time I headed home I was starving! I had to stop at Meijer for some cereal and a couple of other things and I really didn’t want to, I was tired and hungry. But I decided a subway sandwich sounded good and there was a subway right in front of Meijer. So I got my sub and parked in the Meijer parking lot. I thought I would eat in the van and then shop, but then that would delay my arrival time to my pillow and bed tonight. So I pulled out my 6 in. and decided to shop and eat at the same time. Without my napkin no less. There I was pushing my cart with one hand and holding my sandwich with the other. I did my best not to make a mess, but anyone who knows me personally will know that Jamie and food always means a mess. In fact when I was pregnant Michael would call my round belly his carpet saver, cause by the end of the day he could see how much would have actually ended up on the floor. So there I was with honey mustard down my shirt and a banana pepper sitting on the cart handle. “Whatever” I thought, I don’t know any of these people in here staring at me personally. Ooops, spoke to soon, I ran into a guy who Michael went to college with. And those of you who, again, who know me personally, know I can’t help but strike up a conversation. So wiping the honey mustard off my chin I said, “Hey, did you go to Spring Arbor.” “Yeah” he said with a puzzled look. “I am Mike Lightners wife.” I said
“Oh yeah I remember Mike.” He said. As we exchanged goodbyes I darted to the other side of the store hoping not to run into him again. I just had to laugh. A wife would like to think of herself as arm candy for her man, or ya know, someone they like to show off. And there I was stuffing my face in the middle of Meijers. Michael will be so proud. Lol

A damsel in distress...again.

2011-08-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

I had it all together. Josh had soccer practice tonight and then we were off to the lake to try and soak up the remaining days of summer. I prep-made meat and cheese burritos so the kids could eat dinner while the boys got the boat ready, that way we could have optimal time on the water. I was so together it was almost scary. I even managed to get Josh to soccer only 2 minutes late. I took the rest of the kids to the playground to play during Josh’s practice, AND I cleaned out my van AND made my dinner menu for the week while the kids played. Seriously, I don’t think Martha Stewart or Wonder Woman could say so much. At precisely 6:27 I rolled in to pick up Josh and off to the lake we went!! About five minutes down the road my van made an all to familiar sound. I pulled to the side of the road and sure enough my tire was completely flat. Good news is I knew exactly what to do in case of a flat tire. I whipped out my cell phone and dialed 1-800-MY MAN. Yup, that is what I was taught to do. I don’t think I could change a tire if I had a million dollars riding on my success. I’m just not that kinda girl. It’s like when I go get my oil changed and the speedy place, and when they are finished they bring me the dip stick and say, “How’s that look ma’am.” I look at the dip stick and think to myself. “Uh, I don’t know, it looks like something dirty and greasy if you ask me. If you would have shown me a newly set of painted toe nails I could give my opinion, or I could identify how much milk to put in the pancake batter by sight rather than measurement, but OIL, I have know idea! But of course when the kid brought the stick to my window I carefully inspected it, and said, “Yup, good job boys.” Anyway, back to the real story. (Whew, as much as I talk I coulda filled that tire up my tires myself.) So I called Michael, and he was on his way.

He brought the air compressor so he could possibly fill it up and just get it home, seeing we were just five minutes away. When he arrived he realized he grabbed the wrong tool to attach to the air compressor. So back to the house he went. Finally, he was back with the right tool. He filled the tire up and we made it a ¼ of a mile further down the road. Hmmmm. This could take awhile!

He pulled off and started working to get the spare tire down. I took the truck to go get some bug spray for him. The spare tire was not coming down. Finally, after forty minutes of working on it he just cut the cable that was holding it in place. We figured a spare tire stuck to the bottom of my van wasn’t gonna help me ever anyway. Finally, covered in dirt, sweat and bug bites he drove my van home with the spare tire, and I followed in his truck. Poor guy, I felt bad for him. There are so many times I whine about being the wife and all the work I have to do, but thank God I am not the husband. He is my knight in shining armor, rescuing his damsel in distress… AGAIN.

I AM SMOKIN!!!!

2011-08-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

Hello all!! It's me Jessica! Today was eventful. Well not really...it was just a regular day but it felt eventful. I didn't even leave the house. Ever had those days where you head is so full of things that have to be done around the house, your grocery list, people you want to send notes too, gifts to mail, a workout to get in on top of all of your regular daily activities that you do with 2 kids. Woke up this morning feeling great. My kids still sleeping, house clean and picked up, coffee in hand. It was beautiful outside so I go and sit on the porch. Begin reading an insightful book hoping to get a few morsels for the day. As I start reading my mind trails off to my to-do list and things I need to pick up at the store. I scold myself and begin reading again. Then I start thinking of the letters I need to write and the gifts I need to get in the mail. Oh and my car is a mess, yup and gotta clean out that stale bottle I threw in the garage in a hurry which now probably looks like a science project and I don't even want to guess what it smells like....oh right...reading. I think I read the same paragraph about 4 times before I just decided to sit and think. Let me tell ya, if you don't put a time limit or boundaries on your thoughts you could sit there all day and spiral yourself into a hole. I'm just gonna let you in on my thought process because I know you can all relate. I should really clean my baseboards, ugh and my bathroom floors need to be swept and mopped...gosh what a rotten housekeeper I am, I hate it that I yelled at Ayden today. I need to be more patient with my kids. They will grow up thinking it's ok to yell. Why am I a mom? I'm not cut out for this. I'm too selfish. I don't even want to think about how ridiculous I've been to my husband. Why does he love me still. I'm so mean and he's so great. And how does he still think I'm hot. Have you looked at yourself lately Jess? I mean really have you ever been fatter in your life. Your family could survive for a week off your love handles alone.

Yea...that was my thought process this morning. Great way to start off the day huh? Writing this and seeing everything on paper makes me realize even more how I need to put a boundary on those thoughts and when I start to wander down that path I need to change everything. That's why they say Yoga is the best workout for your body. Because the types of positions have your body working muscles on one plane and then switch to the opposite plane with different muscles. So I encourage you that when you start to down yourself change up everything from that moment. Go blow up water balloons with your kids, put some music on and fly like butterflies around the house, or visit the rainforest and jump like frogs, then visit the safari and crawl like lions. Anything to change your thought process at that moment. And then when you are out of it for a little bit replace all those thoughts with thoughts of joy and gratitude. I'm thankful I can have kids, and they are healthy and they love me. I'm thankful I make mistakes so my kids are gonna know its ok for them to make mistakes. I'm thankful I don't have to be the perfect wife, my quirks are why my husband married me in the first place. And try this one on....Of course my husband thinks i'm hot...because I am...I am SMOKIN!!!! I usually then go put on a thong or something sexy for a little bit. (can never stay in those things too long or I just get frustrated ;) ) Anything to jump start you down a positive thinking path. It might all be fake in the beginning, but do it enough and stay on top of your thoughts enough and it will become like second nature and you'll notice that things just fall into place. You don't yell as much, you don't stress about the house as much and you just start living life...a happy life!

It's party time

2011-08-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a blast. Being the type of mom I am, my son has had a “friend birthday party” only one other time in his life. Now before you think I am horrible and he is probably going to need therapy, let me tell you he has a BIG family party every year when ALL his aunt and uncles and cousins come over. So he still may need therapy later on in life, but it won’t be because he didn’t feel loved on his birthday. Lol So this year for his 12th birthday we decided to let him have a “laser tag friend party. Of course Mike and I played laser tag with them, that is just how cool we are! And they kicked our butts, that is just how OLD we are. Mike and I were both sweating. You would have thought we were one of the kids. It was so much fun, but I gotta say the highlight of my night was the arcade. Not because I am all that into arcade games but there was one point during the night I looked across the room to see this guy getting his groove on, doing the Dance Dance Revolution game. And to my surprise it was my husband. I mean yes when we are at home my man is a giant goofball. But when in public he is usually pretty reserved. But I guess Jake has been quite the influence on him ‘cause there he was shaken it in front of everyone. I couldn’t help but laugh. He had his arms going and was getting his swagger on!!!!! So tonight I encourage you to find your inner kid and have a little fun. I know we did and it was great!!!

Precious Moments

2011-08-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

At about 5 am I woke up to the sound of my four year old breathing his sweet tiny breaths next to my ear, and his squishy little arm and his puggy little figures lying across my chest. I remember him crawling in bed sometime earlier and had since fallen back to sleep. I don’t sleep with my kids regularly because I don’t sleep that well when they are in the bed with me. But here and there I trade a few restless hours for such a precious moment. When he came into my room he left the door open allowing the hall light to spill into my room, gently lighting up his adorable features. Still groggy, I just soaked up the peaceful moment thanking God for the adorable little blessing lying next to me. I just stared at him, allowing the moment to be imprinted on my heart and carried with me forever. These are precious moments.

Do your best...Huh?

2011-08-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

What is your best? All through out life we hear that common phrase, “Just do your best.” Well for those of us who are perfectionist, this concept gets hazy, ‘cause there is always, “I could have done better.” Ya know, “I could have worked harder, I could have worked longer.” And then throw this concept into the parenting arena, and we are wondering how much therapy our kid is going to need by the time they are 20, ’cause, “I could have done it better.” As parents we want to do a good job of raising good kids. We want them to know we love them, we want to be patient teacher to them, we want to have tea parties and play legos and firefighter with them, all the while teaching them Values that will help them throughout their entire life. We want to teach them responsibility and respect. And we want to have patience in it all. And as we see ourselves falling short of our “BEST” expectations of ourselves as parents it begins a destructive cycle.

For example your day might look like this… “You were up 1-AM with a crying baby and up again at 3-AM with a kid who insisted there was a monster in his closet, finally at 4-AM all were sleeping once again, then at 6:30 am the alarm goes off. You do your “best” to be bright eyed and bushy tailed getting your first grader out the door to school, but you feel like a truck hit you, so rather than make him a warm bowl of oatmeal like all the parents who do their “best” do, you throw a bowl of stale captain crunch in front of him. Now the “stale” factor is not actually your fault, the kids keep leaving the bags of cereal open when they put the box away. But it inevitably becomes your responsibility as you tell yourself you need to do a better job of teaching your kids how to take care a box of cereal. I mean how are they going to keep a job some day if you haven’t even succeeded in getting them to routinely fold down the cereal bag. Finally, with a kiss planted on his cheek, at 7:30 you send him out the door to catch his ride. You run back to your bed as fast as you can hoping your 4-year-old and 10-month-old sleep at least another hour. You lie there trying to catch up on some lost sleep, but in the back of your mind, your “do your “best” coach” is chanting, “Laundry, dishes, toilets, and mop the floor so when the baby eats off it today you won’t feel as bad.” Your body’s need for sleep wins this battle but the feelings of inadequacy are still there when you wake. Your 3-year-old pulls you out of bed after you finally quit thinking long enough to sleep for just 20 minutes. Again, stale captain crunch is what is on the menu. It was either that or try and feed her the baby’s instant cereal. After wards when you are cleaning up the spilled milk, you feel guilty, your daughter stuck her elbow in her milk and you yelled at her in the moment. And you are now telling yourself how you need to be a patient mom who doesn’t “yell over spilt milk”. Then the day is filled with a couple tea party’s and lots of house hold chores, when the baby didn’t insist he be front and center. That afternoon when the sacred naptime was almost near, you clean up the smeared jelly on the table from lunch and you begin to make the impossible list of all the chores you intend on finishing while the kids nap. Finally that afternoon you load the younger kids up and go pick up your first grader from school. The rest of the afternoon is filled with more chores, keeping the baby out of the toilet, putting your 3 year old in time out for coloring on the walls, and convincing your first grader that it is against the law to make water balloons inside the house. All while some how managing to cook dinner and wash a load or two so your husband would have clean underwear to wear to work tomorrow. And some how manage to get your first grader to his little league game at 7. After the game, the evening is filled with dinner clean up, followed by baths and a bedtime story. After kissing the kids goodnight and tucking them in 3 times ‘cause they need to go potty or get their “other” “favorite” teddy. Or tell you about an owie they just found. Once tucked away, “for sure”, you throw a load of laundry in the dryer. As you collapse into bed your “do you best coach” chants, “You need to be more patient, you need to have more tea parties, you need have a cleaner floor and definitely cleaner toilets. You need to read more stories. You obviously aren’t doing your “Best” because you can do better.”

Now obviously your day may not look exactly as the scene above, but I am sure many of you can relate to demands of Parenthood. And I challenge you now to take a look at what your best is. I remember when I had babies I would feel guilty for napping when they would nap sometimes. I thought I should be doing housework, or better yet, reading my bible or reading some book that taught me to be a better person. But the fact of the matter was, what I needed in that moment to be my “best” was a nap!!!

So I challenge you to define your best. Look at yourself Honestly, and have goals rather than expectations. Expectations are something we expect right away. Goals take time. And set realistic goals. Not goals that only parents who don’t require sleep can accomplish. And in those moments of “yelling over spilt milk”, go back and teach your kids one of the most valuable lessons they can learn, and that is how to say I am sorry. My definition of “Doing your best” is... Learning from yesterday, accepting who you are in the moment of today, and growing even more as the future days unfold.

Are we there yet?

2011-08-01T21:14:00.001-07:00

So about 2 weeks ago I tried this new diet. It is called plan to go out of town during the hottest week of the year, and then have your air conditioning break the day you head home, and just watch the pounds literally melt off your body. The problem with this diet is it’s not an individual plan, the whole family joins you whether they need to or not. Yeah, it was quite a trip. I actually just got my air fixed the day before I left town. I remember thinking on my way down to Columbus, “Whew, I am glad I didn’t try to make this trip without air this week.” Little did I know I would get my chance. On our return date the kids and I took a trip to the museum that morning. It was then I noticed the air was not working. After my “bro-in-law”, Eddie took a look at it, he came to the conclusion it was out of that “stuff” you put in it that makes your air cold. Whatever the name of it is these days I don’t know, but apparently it is an expensive requirement. Oh yay, four kids in a Van, and the old kind of van, so the middle windows do NOT roll down and the back ones open just enough to make the van loud but not REALLY help much, on a 98 degree day, I am sure you can imagine my excitement. To be honest it sounded like a science experiment with all the ingredients of an explosion of siblings. But I had to get home, so I snatched a pair of headphones from my friends so at least Bo could hear the TV. And on my way out of town I grabbed a 7lb bag of ice and divided it into quart Zip-lock bags so we could all hold it on our way home. I also decided to leave at 7pm rather than 3 in the afternoon figuring the less I was driving with the sun beating down on us the better. The first 2 hours were rough, but the kids were troopers. At first the conversation between Bo and I went like this. “Mom, blah blah blah blah” said Bo. “WHAT!” I hollered back, “Talk louder!” “MOM! ROLL THE WINDOWS UP!” he asked “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I hollered back. “WHAT!” he said. “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I said again as loud as I could. “TURN THE AIR ON MOM!” He requested, wondering why I hadn’t thought of it I’m sure. “THE AIR IS BROKEN.” I replied. “NO DADDY GOT IT FIXED MOM!” He said so confused. “WELL, IT BROKE AGAIN.” I said. “WHAT” he said. “IT BROKE AGAIN!” I repeated. “WHAT MOM!” he said once again. “IT!- BROKE!- AGAIN!!!!!” I said as loud as I could. “Oh” he finally consented. I was hoping he wouldn’t talk to me the whole way home. Fortunately he tired of yelling back and fourth. And boy was it hot. At one point I looked in my rear view mirror at Timmy and Kate, who were in the very back and I could see sweat dripping down their sides of their forehead, and Timmy’s hair was wet and curly as if we put gel in it.
As for me I kept moving my bag of ice. Once my lap became numb to the touch I would shift it to my back and then to my neck. It didn’t stop the sweat from dripping down my back, but it helped a little. At least for 45 minutes and by then it had melted entirely. Finally about half way home we stopped at Wendy’s and decided to dine in. As we ate our meal we took ice and just let it melt on the back of our necks, and then before we braved the hot van once again, we ordered Frosty’s to go.
We finally made it home and I thanked the kids over and over for their great attitudes despite the “balmy conditions.”

Believe what she says.

2011-07-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

It is me, Jess. I have once again high-jacked my sisters blog. My sister recently posted "If you believe a word I say", I'm going to title this “Believe what she says”.

I went to this emotional growth seminar only because my sister begged me to go. Never-mind the thinking of how many tables I had to serve to make that kind of money...that I could have used for a shopping spree, or rent, or I don't know anything rather than this dumb seminar she wanted me to attend. The funny part about this was I knew I needed help. Even though I wasn't going to let on to anyone else that I did. I took care of my family through a divorce of my parents, put myself through college, and moved out to Colorado. In my eyes I was doing pretty darn well. I was strong and I knew I was strong. Somewhere I viewed holding it all together as strong. Not being vulnerable was being strong. And strong I was...except for those moments everything got quiet. Those weekends I didn't have to work. Those days I would go up in the mountains and hike. I would sit on a rock at the top, look over Gods beautiful creation, smell the fresh air and feel empty. Hurt. Angry. Confused. I hated to feel it. So what would I do? Hike down the mountain and go to the gym. I would run on the treadmill watching a mindless sitcom until I didn't feel any of those feelings anymore. I would run until I was too tired to think. Then I would lift weights. Crazy what people will do to not feel pain. Some drink. Some smoke dope. Others its more subtle. Some eat. Some take medication thinking they are depressed. Some just get mad. And probably most of us just Avoid. We continue on autopilot. We stay busy and simply tell ourselves we are OK. That was me. I would look at my life and say I should be happy. And that's what I would tell myself. I should be happy. And I would go on making myself be happy. I would live throughout the week to see my boyfriend on the weekends, I would live for the times I had plans, weekends away, weekends going home, concerts, whatever. But when the plans were done and life was calm and quiet again I wasn't happy. I knew in my heart I shouldn't be sad to wake up each morning. So I went to the seminar. And I fought the process left and right on the outside, but on the inside I knew God was working. I felt His arms wrapped around me saying “I'm not letting go. I have big plans for you. You are made in my image. You are chosen. I died so you could live. Now TRULY LIVE.” The fundamental tools I received and the secret boxes I opened up within myself were mind blowing. I found myself wanting it. I found myself KNOWING that freedom was right around the corner. And all I had to do was surrender to the process. It took until day 3 to do that (Mind you its a 3 day seminar) But hey I always was a spit fire and didn't like anyone telling me what to do.

I agree with my sister in saying its not about selling the seminar its about feeling good and simply wanting to let others know they can feel good too

What is your choice?

2011-07-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

Well, it is time to tell you what I have been learning these days. Last month I kept finding my self, to be quite frank, down in the dumps. I was allowing my thoughts to tear me down. I was allowing unrealistic expectations to discourage me, and allowing my fear to immobilize me and keep me so busy worrying. After some thinking I realized that at this point in my life it was about a choice. It was about choosing to believe in me and my dreams even if I didn’t feel the “magic.” I realized I was looking for the magic door that said “This way is the RIGHT way.” I was waiting for the music that “Rockey” ran up the stairs to, or that “Rudy” ran out on to that football field to. I was waiting for that magical “Hollywood” “feel good” moment, that moment in the movies when the actor is being courageous and taking a risk that ultimately pays off. The actor is usually defying odds or choosing to believe in themselves when no body else is. But what I realized is there is no music. My Uncle says, “In real life the music comes after the courageous moment.” In the moments before the music plays is when you have to make a choice to believe in you. These moments are usually out of our comfort zone, and there are usually a million voices telling us why we can’t. In these moments there is no inspirational music playing. The only thing playing is our thoughts and that is where we make a choice about what we are going to believe. The moments are when you realize you forgot to send your kid with his lunch and rather than think about what an unorganized parent you are, or think about what everyone else must be thinking of you, in that moment you accept yourself mistakes and all and choose to believe “you are a dang good parent.” It is when you are at work, or home, or even just out with friends that you choose to believe in you, casting aside the fear of what every one else might be thinking. ‘Cause the truth of the matter is, the only thing they are thinking about you, is wondering what you are thinking about them. And when we choose to believe in ourselves in the little everyday moments, then we will start believing in our selves the moments that seem more challenging. As we make the choices to believe in us even though it is uncomfortable and there is no climatic them song, after we make the choice then comes the feeling of empowerment, and that my friend “feels” like music.

It is all Perspective

2011-07-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

It’s all about perspective. I heard someone talking about forgiveness and began to reflect on the times in my life when I was not forgiving. When I think back to when I was going through my depression, I think about what I must have seemed like to other people. My lack of participation, my short temper, and how people could feel the massive walls I had built around me to keep people out.
Seeing that I didn’t’ talk about what I was going through, no body had any explanation for why I was so withdrawn. I can imagine the judgments that were formed and the reason I can imagine it, is because I have formed my own judgments of other people when they are withdrawn.
How often to we run into someone who is crabby and make a judgment that they are rude or impolite not knowing that their sister is in the hospital. How often do we yell and flip off the driver who made a mistake and pulled in front of us, as if we have never made that same mistake ourselves. When the situation is reversed, and we are the ones getting flipped off, we are then mad at the person flipping us off and not being very “forgiving” themselves. I find it very ironic how angry and judgmental we are toward others, but when the situation is reversed and we are the one receiving the judgment, then we are offended. We are offended at how quickly people will judge, without understanding the other side of the story. So one day I thought to myself, if when I ran into someone having a bad day, whether it be a relative or stranger, if rather than getting offended I felt empathy. If rather than personalizing their behavior, I instead allowed myself to wonder what pain they were experiencing. It may be a physical situation, a tragedy or it may simply be their own disappointment in themselves causing them to have a negative outlook on life. Either way, I want to feel empathy rather than judgment, and I want to extend them the same grace I would like someone to extend to me when I am down too.

Is sewing a prerequisite for motherhood

2011-07-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well I sent my oldest son off to Boy Scouts Camp for a whole week. We got a little behind in our preparation, so the day before he left we were working hard to get everything done. I initially planned on showing him how to sew his badges on, and then let him do the annoying job himself. But seeing that we were in a time crunch and being the cool mom I am, there I was, sitting in the middle of his bedroom floor sewing on badges, while he scavengered for enough clothes for the week. Sewing is not really my thing. Most of you regular readers have noticed by now that I am no Martha Stewart in the kitchen, well, I am even worse with the needle and thread. About 7 years ago, I made curtains for some windows in the old house we used to live in. Now before you get too excited and imagine a beautiful fluffy set of window décor, let me put it to ya this way. I went to Wal-Mart, bought two green flat sheets and basically did some cutting, followed by some pinning and then merely sewed 3 straight lines on the sewing machine. Oh but as I began this endeavor I thought for sure I would be the next Martha Stewart. I sat there in my living room pinning down my edges, all the while telling Michael he was going to have to by me my own sewing machine. I believe my words were… “Check me out babe! I am so gonna be the next Martha Stewart. You are going to be so impressed. I am going to make curtains for the whole house.” Well, there were 2 windows in the room I was making curtains for. I finished one set and got half way through the next and my words to Michael were… “Oh my gosh I am NEVER doing this again. This is so annoying. I am totally not patient enough for this job! Whatever you do, don’t by me a sewing machine!” I never did finish those curtains. Shoot, I never sewed on a button after that. And now here I was trying to be a “boy scout mom.” It was frustrating. I would start sewing a patch one way and then change my technique so the badges pretty much look like a person with multiple personalities sewed them on. And then when I sewed the badge on the front of his pocket, I ended up sewing the pocket shut where the badge was. Let’s just hope he doesn’t need that pocket this week. And then I sewed one of his sleeves shut, to be honest, I am not sure how I did that. When I asked him how big his arms were and if it was necessary that he have his sleeve fully opened to function he just stared at me with a look that said “Aren’t moms supposed to know how to sew?” So I reluctantly fixed the sleeve. The last patch I sewed on ended up crooked and I said I was done for the day. I figured he could fix it when he took some sort of sewing during boy scouts. I told him if anyone commented on the sewing job of his shirt, his response could be… “Hey at least I have to arm holes! And….My mom wasn’t a Girl Scout!”

And then to top my “mom of the year” award off, on the way there I realized the kid didn’t pack a pillow. How could I send my boy off to the woods without his cushy pillow! So I dropped him off and raced back home to try and get him his pillow before he left. I actually called my mom and had here meet me half way with one of her pillows to save on time. I did make it and I felt much better knowing that even though he was sleeping on the ground, and he may not be able to use his shirt pockets, and his badges are all a bit crooked, at least he had a pillow. My mom duties were fulfilled. Lol

Camping, I did it.

2011-07-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

Camping. I did it. I really did it. It has been years since I went camping. Actually it has been 9 years to be more precise. Lately my idea of camping is going for the day, hanging out with everyone, enjoying the campfire and s’mores, and then heading home to my own bed. But this past camping trip Bo was old enough to know he was missing out, and he really wanted to stay in the tent. So we stayed. And there I was living the blog I wrote last year. (“Camping”) I set up my air my bed in our tent, and as I was working to put the sheets on I thought to myself, “Hmmmmm, where is housekeeping?.” I had to shower with my flip flops on and I thought “Wow, will I ever get my feet clean again?”, I slept with sand in my bed, and yes, I had to take a flashlight to find my way to the bathroom at 4 am. So yeah I roughed it. Well, rough it with an electric blanket and a DVD player. I have to admit, the weekend we went was a bit chili, so I brought my electric blanket. Yup, that first night I climbed into my air bed with my electric blanket all plugged in and heated up, and Bo and I plugged in the travel DVD player and watched “Open Season Three”. Hey, it was a movie about animals in the woods, I figured it was perfect for camping. Lol I must say although I REALLY don’t like having to walk down a “road” to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, it was a good weekend. My in-laws are pretty good at it. They do things like pancakes for breakfast and yummy Hobo dinners with potatoes, hamburger and veggies. They even cooked a stew in a iron pan over the fire, I am sure just like Laura Ingals back in the day. If it was all up to me it would be hot dogs every time. If you couldn’t roast it on a stick and put it on a paper plate, there would be no way I would make it for dinner in the woods.

And of course the kids loved it as they always do, and Bo absolutely loved his first camping trip. He rode his bike back and forth in front of our campsite all day. He even made friends with our neighbor camper. Every time he rode by his site he had to say something to him. But the guy must have liked him, cause one day Bo was at the camp site with Mike and when I returned from the beach Bo was telling me all about his barbequed chicken. Turns out the neighbor saw him riding by one time and offered him a chicken leg. I tell ya, this kid cracks me up. Gotta hand it to him. He sure knows how to make friends. My little four year old getting a chicken leg from a neighbor camper, I just gotta laugh. I do love Bo’s out look on life. He definitely doesn’t see impossibilities and he just knows how to love life. It is funny what you can learn from a four year old.

If you believe a word I say.

2011-07-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I sure am enjoying mine. Summer is my favorite time of year. I do hope you have enjoyed my blog thus far, and if you have I wanted to let know where some of my “philosophy” has come from. Blog such as, “I am human and I bleed”, “My humanity when will I accept it”, "Screw it baby, let the good times roll, "Risk", “I am human, and that’s ok”, "Why not trusts myself”, and "What are you Hanging on to."

If you like what you have read, and if you believe a word I say, I ask you to check out the past blogs, and consider going through the TurningLeaf Seminars. Check out the website www.turningleafwellnesscenter.com, and my website, www.JamieLightner.com.

I was at a rough time in my life, and am so grateful to have found myself at this 3 day seminar that gave me more keys to myself and enjoying my wonderful life than I could possibly imagine. I went through hoping to find a way out of my depression and came out with much more.(My personal testimony is on my website, on the events page)

It took my depression to get me to this seminar, had I not been through the rough times, I would have never thought I needed it. But I found freedoms in the principles I learned in that seminar I wish I had years before I even thought my life would get turned upside down.

One of the principles taught in the seminars is to change the way you see yourself. This is a concept I often refer to in my blogs as accepting our humanity. During the seminar Dean asks this question that I now ask in all my presentations. “If your friend talked to you the way YOU talk to you, How long would you stay friends?”

So I ask you to just take a look and ask yourself. “Would I like to change the way I see myself?” “Would I like to be more patient with myself, and my kids?” “Would I like to wake up in the morning, and look in the mirror and be totally content with who you see looking back at you?” And I will tell you, the way you view yourself is the way your children will learn to view themselves. The way you treat yourself is ultimately how your children will end up treating themselves. So I ask you now, are you passing on what you want to pass on.

I am sorry if I am beginning to sound like an infomercial. I just want to give everyone the same amazing experience I have had. So I challenge you to take an honest look at you and these seminars and let me know if you are interested.

Ok, I will end the infomercial now. But wait if you sign up today you will not only get a new and improved life but we will include a 2nd life absolutely free, and if you sign up in the next 3.5 seconds, we will give you not only a 2nd improved life, but a third absolutely free, and wait.... just kidding. Sorry I couldn't help myself.

Keep enjoying your SUMMER!!!! Gotta love it!

Say Cheese!!

2011-07-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

Tip your head to the left. Ok Bo sit down, look this way. Timmy move to the left, nope your other left, ok say cheese, oh not that big of cheese, ok yeah. Now Josh stand behind your Dad, Bo, come back, sit right here, nope over a little more. Kate look this way, ok, everybody say cheese, Bo look at the camera. Look up Bo, nope not that high look down a little bit, right here Bo look at the camera. Bo say “cheese”. “Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese” he finally says with his cheeks pressed practically against his ears and his eyes squinched tightly shut. Yup you guessed it. Family picture day. The last time we did family pictures I think Bo was just over one year old, so we were due. I have a friend who does an AMAZING job! (bobbirattaiphotography.com) So I spent two hours getting everyone showered and hair done and all that fun stuff. Yeah, so much fun it reminded me why I am so good at procrastinating on taking pictures. But somehow we managed to arrive clean and color coordinated. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go with Bo and all. She did individuals of the kids first and Bo was the fourth kid to go and he was adorable smiled on cue, put his hands in the right spot and just hammed it up. Then we moved down the path to another spot and said, “ok Bo do you want to take some more pictures. “No” he said very candidly. And he was a little pill for the rest of the time. A cute little pill, but a pill. But thanks to Bobbi’s patience and skill, we made it through the session. So maybe in another three years I will be ready to do it again. LOL

Oh, to be a care free kid

2011-07-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, to be a Kid. I gotta say, I do admire the carefree attitudes kids have. Yeah, sure they experience those Oscar winning dramatic tantrum moments, but for the most part they are carefree just taking life as it comes, and even quite resilient to disappointing situations. After they accept their Oscar from their tantrum they move on to enjoying their day rather quickly. It is always amusing to me just to sit back at times and watch kids in their element. Today I was playing a softball game. It was crazy hot and I was sweating in places I would rather not mention, and I am sure you are glad I didn’t. Anyway, I came back in from playing the field to find a 5 year old I didn’t even know drinking my water bottle. As thirsty as I was I just looked at the kid and said, “Oh, yeah you can have that now, I am not THAT thirsty.” I barely drink after the kids who share my DNA, let alone a kid I didn’t even know. It was another moment that I just had to laugh at the carefree attitude of kids. They are anything goes and they just don’t have the same hang-ups us adult do. At this point in time I was sitting next to one of my team mates who is quite the “germ-a-phobe.” She and I were both chuckling at this kid drinking a total strangers water. On the way home I kept having flashes in my head of the things I have seen kids do. I have had two nephews now eat dirt by the spoonful and seem to like it, it is crazy what kids will put ketchup on, and not only does Bo thoroughly enjoy eating his boogers, I am quite sure he is willing to share. They just don’t care. And as far as stress, they worry much less about things than we do. They are simply themselves. I don’t recall Bo stressing about left over dinner on his cheeks in front of company, I mean can’t you just hear him saying to himself in the mirror, “Oh my gosh how long have I had that macaroni noodle stuck to my nose, oh how embarrassing.” Nope he would look in the mirror and be excited about his new found snack. He could care less about forgetting to zip his pants up, shoot I don’t think he takes the time to put his pants on half the time. The other day he was in undes and a T-shirt and I had to convince him it was against the law to attend his big brothers little league game in such attire. Just the other night waiting for the fireworks to start in Jackson, he stepped into the 5 foot little space of grass amongst the crowd took a leak. There are kids, including mine, who will talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything. They just crack me up, they really just don’t care. What you see is what you get! Which is actually quite refreshing when you think about it.

United we stand, even in Walmart

2011-06-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today as I was driving down the road with my windows rolled down, just taking in the beautiful farmland and the warm air, my thoughts went to how much I love living in my little farm town. Today I went to Charlotte for breakfast with my Dad, and on our way out the door we exchanged a friendly “how’s it goin” with a local farmer walking in. I just love that! I love when there is a relaxed feeling in the day and one can exchange a friendly hello with a stranger, or a wave to a neighbor as you drive down the street. It got me thinking about the human race and how deep down we all care and support each other. I know at times it doesn’t seem like it. We all have our different baggage that we carry day to day, affecting each other in ways at times that seem to be destructive. There are disputes within families and offenses between co-workers and such a hustle and bustle in this busy world with all of us trying to make a name for ourselves. It seems at times that people are too busy to notice anyone else. We all tend to get so caught up with the stresses in our lives that we forget sometimes that man is not an island. We don’t have to talk to people to pump our gas our buy our groceries. It is very easy to let the busy times and stresses we take on to create what seems like a separation between us as mankind. But I know deep down we all truly care about each other, and I love that! You see the true essence of mankind reveal itself when we are faced with adversity and destruction to mankind itself. The common thread that ties us all together no matter what race, sex, social status, religion, or baggage is human pain. We all relate to each other, and even come together to unite as an indestructible force when facing devastations. Just look back at the past 10 years. When the levy broke, when the tsunami hit, when the tornados raced across the states, and when the twin towers came down on that somber day in New York. On those days all our stresses, social statuses, difference in religions, and all the little offenses over who stole whose lunch out of the fridge in the break room just didn’t matter anymore. When these devastations occur we get back in touch with the value for human life itself, no frills and lace, just appreciation and care for the person walking down the street next to you, living and breathing trying to do the very best they can. And it is beautiful days like today, as I wave to my neighbor spreading his manure on the field next to me that I am so grateful for this life, the people all around me living this life, and the metaphorical manure that gets spread here and again to bring us all together and remind us how grateful for each other we really are. So as these summer months are finally encouraging us to come out from hibernation, as you find yourself walking down the street, or into walmart, take the time to tip your hat as they did back in the day and give a friendly hello accompanied by a genuine appreciate of your fellow man. It is a great day to live. So for a moment here and there let us toss our cares aside and enjoy this life together!

Go North. Is that left or right?

2011-06-18T20:27:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh, I am so directionally challenged it is ridiculous. I was driving out to Dewitt today for a wedding shower, going to a house I have been to on NUMEROUS occasions mind you. It is actually a standing joke how every time I have to drive myself out there I get lost. But today I was sure I had it all together and could make it on my own. My mom was riding with me but she had never been there, poor girl, she didn’t know what she had gotten herself into. I called my aunts husband asking him to let her know that I would be late. I informed him I was not lost, I had to speak at a meeting earlier and was running a bit behind. But I wasn’t lost and I knew how to get there. Well for those of you have read some of my other posts are familiar with my lack of directional ability. In fact I am so bad that I had to “pre-warn” my in-laws on a trip we took a few years ago. We were going to Gatlinburg and I had already been there so I knew they might think I would be a good source of information, which I was, unless the question began with the word “WHERE”. But about an hour before we arrived I said this…”I just want you guys to know you do NOT want to ask me for directions. When we get to the town it will look familiar to me, and I will think I know where I am going because I have been there. I will want to be helpful and give you directions, but don’t believe a word I say.” And that very trip they leaned not to trust my directions. But anyway, back to my latest excursion. On my way to Dewitt, driving down 127, um, North I believe. We came to the other highway I am supposed to take and in a panic I asked my mom, “which way do we go?” Of course she didn’t know, she barely new where I was taking her. So I called home and Josh answered. I told him to take his Dad the phone, cause I needed to talk to him ASAP. His reply was “Well, I am on speaker phone.” I then said, “well, go get a phone and take it to your dad.” So I am waiting on the phone and I just here kids talking. Finally I said, “Josh, are you taking a phone to your dad?” No, it is dead so I am charging it for you.” In my head I am thinking, “what is this highly intelligent child thinking! Really, does he think I want to sit here and wait until the phone charges.” I informed him that I could not wait for him to charge the phone. I told him to go get his dad off the tractor and have him call me. Meanwhile, my mom called my aunts husband and we got the directions from them. As we got off the highway I went turn left and my mom informed me we needed to go right. “Wow, really, is that what he said, cause my inner map is telling me to go left.” I said. Yeah, my internal map is backwards A LOT. But I followed the directions my mom was now reading to me. We were coming into town from a different way and I looked at my mom and said, “This doesn’t feel right to me.” And my moms response was, “oh good, I will take that as a sign we are going the right way.” Yeah, I guess it is safe to say being a tour guide is probably not ever going to be in the cards for me. We finally made it to the shower an hour late and the rest of the day went pretty smooth, until I pulled into my driveway that evening and as I opened my door and the dome light came on I found my phone sitting in my melted Ben and Jerry’s that I had bought on my way home and only eaten half the pint. As I carried my ice cream covered phone into the house my husband just shook his head very affectionately at me. Josh made the comment, “Well, mom, your phone has been through worse.” I answered, “Nope, I don’t think so.” And he came back with, “remember that time you dropped it in the toilet.” Ok, once again the kid was right. So today was an adventure, I hope you all are enjoying your summer as much as I am!!!! Always an adventure, but at least I can say life is not boring.

My big fat Greek "birthday"

2011-06-17T21:04:00.001-07:00

Well, today was my birthday, and what a beautiful day. It has been a wonderful day, and boy do I feel special! It was so awesome getting oh about 1,000 happy birthdays on facebook, so it seemed. It was awesome! And then this week, my mom and sis are taking me out tomorrow, my husband is taking we out later this week, and my Dad called and said he wants to do breakfast. Wow! How exciting. Well, it got me thinking why have a birth”day”, how about a birth”week”. If I have a “birthweek” would that be a good excuse to skip doing the laundry, or skip cooking dinner. Although lately my idea of cooking dinner is ordering pizza or if I am really motivated I will cook eggs and toast. Anyway, if I had a “birthday week” I would have an excuse for such dinners. I figure hey I birthed four children, that should add on a couple of days to my “birthweek” and the fact that I haven’t officially sold any of them on ebay yet, well that should add a few more. I figure if that one girl can have “My big fat greek wedding” well, I should be able to throw in a “My big fat greek birthday” here and there. Ok, so maybe a “birthday” week is not probable, but I do get a few birthday dinners and I am excited! Thanks to all those who sent me birthday wishes on facebook, it was awesome. It has been a beautiful day and I certainly enjoyed it. I hope you all can take a few moments this week and enjoy them yourselves. Take a some “my big fat Greek “moments”” to enjoy!

The Important discussion of TP

2011-06-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

I find it amusing how some things have to be done a certain way, just because. There is no real benefit, just simply personal preference and everyone is different. Take for instance which way you prefer your toilet paper to roll out. This has absolutely no effect on pretty much anything in my life, yet I will take the time to turn around the toilet paper roll when my kids put it on “wrong.” I prefer mine to roll out over the top and I really can’t imagine anyone would want it any other way. In fact if I am at my sisters house and I run into the same predicament I will change hers for her too. I was sure she thanked God every night for her sister who was always there to keep her TP rolling the “right” way. LOL. Not really. Come to find out she just throws it on there and doesn’t really care which way it ends up. And to my disbelief I met someone who actually prefers it roll out from underneath the roll. The concept seamed so strange to me. I just could not have toilet paper rolling out from the bottom in my house. It just goes to show how even the simplest of things, we all have our idiosyncrasies, I mean seriously, it is toilet paper. In the grand scheme of life does it really matter what way the material, you are going to use to wipe your fanny, rolls off the roll. Yet I make SURE it rolls from the top, EVERY time. So, for the fun of it, I have added a poll to my blog, cast your vote! Let’s see what we all think is the “right” way to place your TP! Next week we can discuss whether Charmin is better than Angel soft. And furthermore if the “wet wipes” for adults are all that they say they are. LOL Just kidding. As I look back on what I just wrote I am beginning to worry that Bo staying out of trouble may not be so good for my blog. lol

The poll is on the right hand side of my blog. Pass on the word!!!!!! Anyone can Vote!!

End of the year party

2011-06-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

· Thirty three kids
· Two pots of dirt cake
· One kiddie pool filled with mash potatoes and corn flakes to search for hidden coins
· One giant slip and slide
· One tub of spaghetti noodles with hidden objects
· Water games
· Three hundred water balloon for a war, five adults against thirty three kids
· Two days of prep time
· Two hours of fun

All this leaves you with Two parents lying in bed, not moving, just watching TV, hoping that morning will come a little later tomorrow. I could probably write you a funny blog based on the events of the day, but I am too tired. lol

A damsel in distress

2011-06-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

…. Continuation from yesterday…

Well, Tuesday, when our power still wasn’t on, I decided I was just going to have to pack by flashlight in my closet. The 4th grade Mackinaw Trip was this weekend and Kate and I had to be up to the school by 5:30am. I was just glad I found enough clean clothes to get me through the next 3 days. I wasn’t sure how my husband and the boys would fare with their clean undies supply, but what’s a mom to do.

I had to run into town for some bug spray and snacks for the trip. We headed out at lunch time so we could eat at Wendy’s. I wasn’t sure what was still edible in the fridge. On my way to Jackson, feeling like I was quite the pioneer in my “no power” situation, I felt the cold air blowing out my vents suddenly get warm. Then my engine started making a weird noise, so I quickly pulled over and turned my van off. I jumped out and popped the hood to see what was the matter, as if I would even have a clue what to look for. I just knew from watching Michael and my dad, when something is wrong with the engine your are supposed to pop the hood and stare at it. When I opened the hood it smelled like burnt rubber. I don’t know much about cars but I am pretty sure it is not good when the engine smells like burnt rubber. But there I was, a damsel in distress on the side of M-50. I decided to check my oil cause that is the one thing I “mostly” know how to do. I would like to say it was like a “Hollywood” moment. Ya know, the scene where the girl is in a pair of cute shorts and a tank top, with her hair blowing in the wind as she peers under the hood to find the problem. Nope, not quite. Because of my lack of electricity I was still in my PJ’s, my hair was tied up in some sort of crazy bunnish thing. I hadn’t showered in 3 days, it was 85 degrees and I was dripping with sweat. So their I stood a sight for sure flailing around my dipstick trying to look like I knew what I was doing. But one thing I did know how to do as a damsel in distress is call my knight in shining armor. I called Michael and while he was on his way the kids watched a DVD in the back and I took the opportunity to clean out my van. I figured if I was going to be stranded I might as well get something done. Lol We still don’t know exactly what was wrong with my van, but we do know the air no longer works. Ugh. Bummer!!

That night on my way to my Dad’s for some dinner, I got a call from my mom saying the power was back on. My heart actually leapt in my chest. You would have thought I had spoken with an Angel by my reaction. I really wouldn’t have done so well back in the day. I really like “electricity.” This would make getting to the school at 5:30am a little easier.

That is what I get for being prepared

2011-06-06T19:56:00.001-07:00

I had the holiday weekend all planned out perfectly!(Memorial Day) By Friday I had the meals bought and prepared so we could all just kick back and relax at the lake all weekend. Saturday afternoon the boys were waxing the boat and we would be soaking up sun for the next 2 days! I could hardly wait! But apparently mother nature decided our weekend was a little too planned and predictable. That afternoon a storm rolled in and took out the power. Despite our hopes of a quick fix, at 9:00 that night I was packing up the food I had brought to my sisters and we were headed over to my in-laws to mooch off their electrical abundance at the moment. On our way into the house Michael accidentally dumped out my pre-made deli tray I so creatively put together myself. It was at this moment I realized the well planned, perfectly organized weekend, full of relaxation, I had planned, was looking like my deli tray, “turned upside down”. Finally by 11:00 the kids were tucked away, and Mike and I followed soon after. We did manage to spend Monday on the lake, that was nice. That night Michael and I drove home in separate vehicles, I pulled into my driveway only to still find there was no power and then got a call from Mike. He had run out of gas. What would have been a quick 5 minute trip to him turned into 15 because the road he was on had trees down blocking my path. By the time we got home it was to late to crash at my in-laws again, so we all camped out in the basement. It was actually a fun time, all of us in one room playing with flashlights. That is a memory I will keep with me forever.

Stay tuned. I will finish the story of my week without power tomorrow. It is titled “A damsel in distress”.

2011-06-02T20:05:00.001-07:00

So I thought seeing as how my sister is out of town I would just take over her blog, once again. I just spent the last 5 days roughing it with no power. I mean I forgot what is all involved when you say “No power”. Sitting on our couch, I got a phone call from my husband who was around the corner at my dads. “Hey we've got Tornado warnings. You might have to get the kids and go to the basement.” I kind of fluffed it off b/c I didn't feel the weather was that bad. Yeah, a second later the wind ripped through the house and the power shut down. I ran upstairs grabbed both of my sleeping babies and hit the basement. A couple minuets of heavy rain and it was over. I do have to say that one scared me a bit :) I walked upstairs and tried the lights...nope. We decided to load up and go to my dads. I started getting the diaper bag ready. I ran over to the sink to make a bottle...right no water. Ok no biggie. Then it's upstairs to throw on some clothes...right no lights. Oh gosh I have to pee....flushed the toilet and realized that was the last flush for that toilet. Long story short everything kept hitting me of just what was involved with NO POWER. No fans for noise makers for my kids...no hot bottles for Zayne, no drinking water for Ayden, no baths for my stinky children or there stinky mom. I mean you don't realize until it's gone. However between my dad having a generator I was able to get 2 showers and some water for small things. I thought it was humerous however that it happened over the most humid days of the summer. When you become accustomed to AC...its a shock to the system to have to go to sleep in 84 degree house. My sisters power came back on Tuesday...so I geared myself that mine was next....nope. I got home today, to my tornado of a house, and got depressed. I didn't clean, I didn't do anything but take a nap with my kids. However I woke up at 5 and saw the Consumer Energy truck drive down my road. I got excited. YUP....2 seconds later the power kicked on, my fans began turning, I heard the toilets fill up...I began to get even more excited. I walked through the house and turned on all the lights...just because I could!! The Consumer truck went back down the road and I felt my dramatic side come out. The operatic saga began to play as I ran in slow motion to the road to wave a beautiful red scarf in saying my thanks. I had so much energy because I was so excited I cooked dinner, bathed my dog (which I don't EVER do...b/c I cant stand that dog) bathed my kids, put them both to bed, cleaned my whole kitchen top to bottom we are talking scoured, cleaned all my bathrooms, vacuumed, and did 2 loads of laundry!!! I think I made my husband tired by just watching me. I told him I had a whole new lease on life, that I was a brand new woman!!!! Haahaa...we will see how long this lasts but I'll tell ya it's a good thing I was born in this century b/c outhouses and baths once a week are not for me. More power to ya Laura Ingles...but this roughing it is for the birds :)

My humanity, when will I accept it?

2011-05-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

I am writing today with a more serious tone. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a couple weeks and rather than do my usual, “I’m fine” to you all, I thought I would take a chance and let you in, hoping that what I have found may help someone out there reading. When I say that I have been on an emotional roller coaster, what I mean is, I have been struggling with feeling overwhelmed and emotional and just plain dabbling with “depressed”, but I have nothing really be sad about, so it was bothering me that I was allowing these emotions to affect my life. After some talks with my life coach I began to see where I was putting “expectations” on myself and not allowing myself to be human once again. I will let you in on some of my internal dialogue and you can let me know if you ever feel the same. This is what I, at times, say to myself. “Jamie seriously you forgot to send in lunch money again, get it together, Jane always has her kids spit shined and out the door with lunch money every day, and she certainly wouldn’t forget to send in the fieldtrip slip. Oh my gosh look at your house, you have really got to step it up, if someone saw your bathroom or your kitchen floor right now what would they think, well, I will tell you what they would think, they would think you are disgusting and certainly wouldn’t want to have dinner with you. And why do you teach a parenting class. Just the other day Bo threw a bag of spaghetti noodles at your head, while demanding that you give him spaghetti for breakfast. Seriously, if your kid misbehaves like that you really should find a different career path” So there you have it, a couple minutes in the mind of Jamie Lightner when she is upset with her own “humanness.” This fight with my humanity seems to a common theme for me, and probably for many of you. Fighting with our humanity is what us “humans” seem to do. When you think about it logically it seems ridiculous. I mean you don’t see a dog sitting in the yard trying to be a cat, and a horse isn’t thinking “gee, I really should be a better horse, maybe I should lose weight or get glasses so I look smarter”. Nope they just do what they were meant to do, live and like living! Yet we, as human beings never seem to be enough for ourselves, we are constantly wanting to be what I like to call “super humans.” But when you really think about it, if you spend your whole life unhappy with who you are, what is the point of even being here. If I spend my whole life always guilt loading myself for the parent I am not, seriously what is the point? So after talking with my life coach about my “emotional roller coaster” I came to the conclusion that once again I needed to throw out the expectations of who I thought I should be and just enjoy who I am. And I am the mom that gets the note home that says, “Hey, send in lunch money for your kid.” And I am the mom that has had a bag of spaghetti thrown at her head.” But that is ok, hey it makes for funny stories later, right! I am human and I am going to make mistakes. I am going to make mistakes as a parent, as a wife and even as a life coach. But my goal is to keep learning to accept my mistakes as a part of me and a part of my life, and learn to let go of those crazy expectations. I am going to have sunny days and rainy days. And on those rainy days I would like to just throw my hands in the air, tip my head back and feel it hit my skin, cause that is how I know I am alive! So once again, I challenge you to accept your humanity. Even just for one day. If you just tell yourself it’s ok to be human for one day. Ok to forget a kids lunch or take the a kid to the wrong practice, or forget to bring snack on your snack day. Just give yourself a break for a day, and then maybe you will like it so much you will give yourself two!

To clean, or not to clean? That is the question.

2011-05-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

Once again I find myself looking around my house just wondering if I will accomplish any spring-cleaning. I was scouring the toilet in my bathroom when I looked up in the corners of my walls and noticed a little “Adams Family” theme going on. The cobwebs in the corners were giving it that “haunted house” feel. At least the “science fiction” element of wondering what creature was going to climb out of the toilet was slowly fading as I dumped toilet cleaner into the bowl. So I was glad to get that done. I have noticed however when it comes to the rest of my house, sometimes a little bit of cleaning only makes things worse. Say for instance I get the energy to Windex the front of my refrigerator. Well, sure the fridge looks great, but then my oven looks dirty, and once I clean my oven, I have clean the dishwasher too. Now my appliances look all sparkly which causes me to notice the cupboards with splatters of who knows what, and to be honest, I would probably rather not know. So my job satisfaction has now faded and I begin to scrub the cupboards. While I am down on my hands and knees, I notice the dirt and grime collecting in the corners of my kitchen floor. So my theory is if you leave everything at the same level of dirtiness, then it will be harder to tell how “dirty” it actually is. Where as when you clean something, well, now you have set the bar pretty high. It is like when you haven’t dusted for a while and you get that layer of dust on your furniture, but it’s not like anyone can really tell you how thick it is until someone wipes his or her finger through it to give you a comparison. So, To Clean, or Not To Clean, That is the Question?

Disney vacation Part 2

2011-05-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

The rest of the week was truly magical. I know we were in Disney, and it sounds cliché, but it really was magical. Bo was well-behaved 95% of the time and his cute personality charmed the socks off of everyone he talked to. It was fun being together all as a family and the older kids seemed to enjoy watching Bo’s excitement just as much as me and Michael. Rather than writing the long play-by-play version, here are the high lights.

· “Mom down, we have a mom down”
o At the end of the first night we were all walking back from magic kingdom. All 15 of us! I was at the front of the pack and I turned around to tell my dad some of our exciting events with the kids. I was walking back words talking a mile a minute of course, when down I went. Fortunately, I fell into my son Josh and he did a good job of breaking my fall, cause I just went straight back. So there I was looking up at everyone, and my husband helped me to my feet. So that was my debut of the week.

· “The boys fell in love”
o We ate breakfast at the castle in magic kingdom. Kate really likes this ‘cause of course she is into the “princesses.” But I didn’t realize how much Timmy and Bo were into “princesses.” We were all waiting inline for our picture with Cinderella. Once it was out turn Timmy was the first one by her side. He was holding her hand staring up at her with this “puppy love” look on his face. While we were all posing for the picture Bo just kept staring at her too. Then when the photo shoot was over Cinderella kissed Bo on the cheek. He ran over to me in excitement, and jumped into my arms saying, “I wuv Cinderella, mom, I just wuv her.”
o Then while at breakfast, every time a princess would visit out table Bo would just stare at them and hug them, and Timmy kept holding their hand. My 7-year old boy and my 4-year old boy were just smitten. Too funny.

· “Bo Sleeps”
o Five of the six nights we were down there we were all up till at least midnight. When we would get back to the room, Bo walked through the room and said, “I have to go to sleep.” “What! Really, did he just say that.” Yeah, for the first time in 2 ½ years it didn’t’ take a “tranquilizer” to put the kid to bed. We finally wore him out, which until now I really didn’t think was possible.

· “No offense”
o I think one of my favorite moments was when we went to meet Winnie the Pooh. Tigger came to our table and Ayden looked at him and said, “Tigger, where is Pooh?”

· “You want me to stop for what?”
o The kids were all adorable and entertaining but what I wouldn’t give to have seen the cab drivers face when my sis-in-law asked him to stop at
Walgreen’s she could buy a breast pump. Yup, a breast pump. My sister was quiting nursing and didn’t bring hers, she didn’t have room to back it and I think she was hoping that she was to the phase when she didn’t need to worry about it. But after two days, with no baby, she realized “cold turkey” was not going to work. My brother was flying in 3 days after we arrived. So my sister asked them to stop on their way and pick up a hand pump. So there they were, my brother, his wife and their fifteen-year-old son. They were trying to figure out where to stop on the way from the airport and my sis-in-law was very “to the point” about the need. Lol I Love it!!!

Well, that is our trip in a very small nut shell. I would have thought I would have a lot more crazy entertaining stories, considering Bo was coming with us, but I gotta say, I am kinda glad he didn’t give me much blog material! Lol I didn’t even feel the need to pawn him off as another families child. It was a great week and I am grateful for it. And now it seems summer is finally making it’s way to Michigan, so I look forward to the adventures ahead.

Disney vacation Part 1

2011-05-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

Another year of “magic” to lock away in my favorite memories box. I have to admit I was a little nervous about taking Bo for the first time! Those of you who are well acquainted with my blog are well acquainted with BO! And no explanation is needed I am sure. However my regular readers may have also noticed that there have been less stories of Bo and his adventures. Well, that is because he is actually getting a bit easier. Now that he is speaking pretty good English and his reasoning skills are actually finally developing, I can look at him and say… ”Bo, I need you to sit there and color until the waitress brings us our food.” And he says “OK” And sometimes he actually does. It is great. So I figured if we could get him through security with out getting a pat down, we might be ok. I also figured “Hey, we are going to Disney World, where there are more kids than adults. I am bound to run into a couple of kids that will make Bo look calm, right? If not, I am sure I could find a few that he would blend in with. And if not I could stand really close to some other family and make it look like he belonged to them.

A couple weeks prior to our trip I was really working hard with Bo and his listening skills, talking with him about our trip coming up and how important it was for him to listen. So the morning of the trip we all piled into Bo’s room to see the look of excitement on his face when he realized today was the day to ride the AIRPLANE. We gently woke him up and said “Bo, what are we going to do today.” As he worked hard to get his swollen sleepy eyes to open, he looked up and in the sweetes,t barely awake voice I ever heard, he said “WISTEN.” (translates to Listen)We all laughed!

Magically enough, Bo looked like a pro in security. Keep in mind we were thinking cheap and we decided to check only 1 suitcase, and pack the rest in the kids in their carryon suitcases. So there we were going through the security line with 4 kids all wearing little activity back packs, each pulling there carryon suit case behind them. Michael and I each had a backpack on our backs and he took Timmy’s hand and I had a firm grip on the tail I had attached to Bo. I have never put a leash on any of my kids before but this year I bought one of those stuffed animal backpacks with a tail, just to be sure we didn’t lose Bo while I was pushing suitcases through security. But all my worrying was for nothing. Bo did exactly what he needed to do and my other kids handled all their gear on their own. Things were too easy! We were still a sight, but hey, we didn’t sound any alarms. We went in with four kids and came out with four kids, and the SAME four kids at that.

Once in his seat Bo just kept asking if we were flying yet. Then as the plane backed away, “Are we flying yet?” And again as we began to taxi to the runway, “Are we flying yet?” And then, the whole time we were picking up speed down the runway, “Are we flying yet, are we flying yet, are we flying yet,” he said with more excitement in his voice each time. Finally, we were airborne and he was beside himself with excitement. He peered out his window watching the seen below get further and further away. Then we headed into a really big cloud and everything was white. “Uh oh. We are stuck.” He said. Michael tried to explain we weren’t stuck, we were just in a cloud. But I was in tears laughing by this point. Our older three were laughing too. We all really enjoyed watching Bo. It warmed my heart to see my whole family really enjoying each other. We were all so excited about this trip.

So the first day of travel was pretty much seamless. I will end my story there for now and finish up in my next post.

I will, however, leave you with this thought…I would strongly encourage you to do things as a family. Weather it be a family vacation, a day at the beach, or a simple evening at the park. Doing things all together, laughing and having fun all together is so good for building those long lasting relationships. :)

Lightner girls trip

2011-05-18T18:57:00.000-07:00

Oh seriously, I have 3 blogs written, yet my life has been so crazy I keep forgetting to post them. It seems by the time the end of the day arrives I just collapse in my bed. The good news is, I have been telling myself to exercise and eat healthier to boost my energy to handle the craziness of life these days and it seems I am. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, so that counts for exercise and I have been convincing myself that peanut M&Ms are a good source of protein. But I am finally remembering to post my blogs, so the following is my most recent trip with my sis-in-laws, and my Disney trip will follow, well, hopefully anyway, if I remember to post it. lol

Girls Trip

Every year the “Lightner Girls” take a trip together to get away from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Granted I cannot discuss much of our conversations. “What happens on our girls trip stays on our girls trip.” Lord knows we wouldn’t want our husbands and children to her how we talk about them. Lol So I will just briefly discuss the “chain of events.” As many of you know, it seems even the simplest of things, such as going to the grocery store, is at times an adventure for me. So naturally, when planning a trip with five of us girls there is going to be adventure. I figure by calling it an adventure it sound more like we are courageous and full of life like a thrilling movie, rather than admitting we look more like a “Steve Martin” slap stick film.

Well, to give you some background, I guess one of my sis-in-laws had this “connection” to get us into a beautiful Hotel in Charlevoix at a discounted rate. Well, apparently when you are getting a discount, you can be booted from your room if they fill up and someone who is paying full price is next in line. So they moved our reservation to a hotel that was a step down in it’s frills, yet still pretty nice. But that too filled up and we were booted out again. And sent over to a “Motel”. We pulled up and it was a ten-unit “mom and pop” motel. Well, my hopes and dreams of sitting in the hot tub were shattered, but the place was CLEAN, and from past experience on these trips… that is what counts.

Sarah checked in! It took her forever. We soon found out the lady who owned the place wanted to really make her feel like she was home. She took her on a tour of all the mushrooms she picked that day, and introduced her to the pet pooch. Then she showed us to our rooms giving us instructions to only turn the heater “on” and “off”, being sure not to adjust the temperature. Really, first of all the rooms are heated and cooled by a hole in the wall with a box in it, but I can’t adjust the thermostat. Hmmmm. Interesting?!

Then that night I realized they didn’t have hair dryers. I finally quit packing my hairdryer cause even the “Motel 6 has hair dryers. So I decided to shower before bed so my hair could be dry by morning. I turned the water on and went to get my PJs out of my suitcase. By the time I got in the shower the water was luke warm. LUKE WARM!! I DON”T do LUKE WARM showers. So I speed washed and got out. After I was dressed I tried to open the door, yes, key word is “Tried.” My doorknob was stuck and I couldn’t get out. Tonya had to let me out of the bathroom. Of course she figured out what was wrong. Apparently it took a little “finesse” to open the door.

Despite my few minutes stuck in the bathroom the rest of the weekend was fun. It was cold and rainy so we had to be a bit creative for fun. We played a round of mini golf and some arcade games. I am sure we were not the typical arcade crowd, but we had fun.
And then to make it really interesting 4 of us crammed in a Goodwill dressing room, swapping and trying on our findings, with conversation sounding like this…”Oh that’s cute!” “Eeewww do not where that!” “Oh my boobs are too big for this shirt, here you try it on.” “You want me to try on what?” Does this make my butt look big.” “Oh good, those are too small for you, let me try them on.”

All in all another successful girls trip!

It's game time!

2011-04-29T20:58:00.001-07:00

Last night Timmy had a soccer game. It was cold and rainy. Did I mention it was COLD. Yeah. If I was the coach, I would have canceled the game. But crazy enough Bo played his own soccer game with the kids on the next field over the whole time Timmy was playing. It was awesome. I wasn’t chasing him so I actually got to see Timmy play. Of course every 3 minutes I would glance over to make sure he was still hanging out, and not off trying to discover some unknown territory in Springport. Well, sometime during the 4th quarter I looked over and he was gone. I then scanned all around the soccer field and even looked into the woods but no sign of Bo. I recruited other parents to help me look at this point in time and then all of a sudden I saw him. He and his soccer ball had made their way over to the field where Timmy and his team were CURRENTLY playing. Amy was so sweet and let him kick it into the goal. Bo then complained that he couldn’t keep playing with the big boys. Crazy kid. I can’t complain though, he did really could on that cold and rainy evening. Oh yeah, did I mention it was COLD.

Shopping wiht 3 boys

2011-04-25T21:16:00.001-07:00

Shopping with 3 boys. Need I say more, probably not! I had two hours from the time I picked up the boys from school till the time I had to be back up to the school to pick Kate up from girl scouts. So after you subtract the 50 min. drive round trip, I had 1 hour and 10 min. to accomplish the task at hand, which was to simply find Josh some shorts, and couple of T-shirts, and a pair of shoes if we had time. Seemed almost reasonable, right? Well, first of all “Bo” was with us, so yeah, again, need I say more. Then to make things even more “fun”, Josh was just sooooo “enthused” about trying on clothes. I only make him shop 2 times a year, and every time it seems to put him in excruciating pain. With Josh protesting the whole way, I through a pile of clothes in the cart and we headed to the dressing room. I handed Josh 4, just 4 pairs of shorts to try on. He carried them to the room dragging his feet. You would have thought I sent him in there with 3 encyclopedias and asked him to write a thesis paper. Actually, if I would have sent him in with 3 encyclopedias he would have been content just to sit in there and read. We finally had some shorts to take home. By this time Bo is really done. I put him in the cart for time out, where he began throwing things out. So I put him in the front and bucked him in. He cried, and screamed and pitched a fit for the next ten minutes as we finished up. I didn’t have the time to go and put him in time out in the van, so all of Wal-Mart had to endure it with me. He finally realized I wasn’t going to let him out and settled down. I was 10 min. late picking up Kate, but I did come home with the items I set out to get.

"Bon Appetit!!"

2011-04-22T18:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I saw Bo licking his whole hand. Seeing that we were standing in the middle of a gym at the school I had to ask. “Bo, what are you doing, why are you licking your hand.” “I am eating my boogers!” he exclaimed. He thought he was funny, I thought it was disgusting. To be honest, this whole eating boogers thing is all new to me. I know, I have four kids and all, but they weren’t “booger eaters” when they were little. Now, don’t misunderstand me, they were booger pickers, I mean what kid doesn’t pick their nose right?! But they were more of the pick it and wipe it on the wall, or the chair, or what ever they were standing next to at the time. If they did eat them, they did it in secret, not LOUD and PROUD like Bo. Bo seems to think them to be quite a delicacy. And it isn’t cause I don’t feed the kid. I mean sure there are those nights when I am looking at the kids thinking, “Really, do I really have to feed you, can’t you just chase mice or graze in the field.” But even on those days I at least make PBJ for dinner. So it’s not like he is starving to death and his only form of nourishment is served up with a side of mucus. Oh well, I haven’t been able to explain any of my children thus far, I sure don’t know why I would try and start now. All I can say is “Bon appetit”

And you thought Bo was entertaining!!

2011-04-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

I confiscated my sisters computer this weekend so I thought I would write a little blog about my little munchkin that just might top her stories about Bo!!
Never thought I would experience some of the things that happen to my friends with their kids. I always see these dramatic kids and thank God mine is not dramatic, or hear my sisters stories about Bo and am thankful my kid isn't as high maintenance. I haven’t learned my lesson yet because every time I get cocky about my well behaved child I start to see a new side of him.
I was washing dishes the other day and in walks my little toe-head! He had a goofy look on his face and I said “Whats up bud?” He put his arm up and attempted to stick his little pointer up towards my nose. “Smell my finger.” Confused and a little grossed out considering I’ve seen the many uses that little finger has I laughed and said “No…Why?” “Smell it” he insisted. “No…what is it?” He got a quirky smile on his face and said “It’s my poop!” The way he said it was almost as thought he was amazed at how that smell could go from his butt to his finger. Then he proceeded to say “See mom…I show you” as he reached around to shove his had down his pants. I stopped him and had the “That’s disgusting” talk and had to laugh as gross as it was. Later that day I was folding laundry and our dog was laying in the floor. I was watching my son hold 3 pennies in his hand. He was adorable the way he carries around his trinkets. Well I saw him look at his pennies and then look at our dogs butt. No sooner did he get 1 penny in his fingers and started for our dogs chocolate starfish and I said “Absolutely not.” I guess we will have to have another discussion about nothing goes in that hole…only out 

Lazy Morning

2011-04-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Bo had a fever this morning, and it was low grade so I waited to give him Tylenol to see if it would run its course. So we were lazy and watched cartoons this morning. It was the most still I have seen him since, well, since the last time he had a fever. But it was nice to soak up the snuggle moments. He may be the prime “suspect” in my blogs, but he is the cutest, little chubby thing I have ever seen. He didn’t want to be in the room alone so I just let the whole morning go, and snuggled with him in the bed. Doing “nothing” is not something that comes naturally to me, when I have literally a million things to do. But it was so sweet hangin with him. And then at about noon he said his head was hurting, so I gave him some Tylenol. And about 15 min. later he popped up off the bed and said. “Ok, I feel better now, let’s go down stair.” And the rest of the day he was back to himself.

Take the time to enjoy your snuggle times, before they are to big to snuggle.

Back to the "Bolgging Board" I hope

2011-04-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, you may or may not have noticed, but my blogging has been pretty non existent these days. I would like to say it is because Bo has been so well behaved and my life has been so smooth sailing that I have been at a loss as to what to write about. Nope, not quite. Bo has been making strides, I gotta give the kid credit. But he is still Bo. Always on an adventure. As far as my smooth sailing life, well it has been like a white water rafting adventure these days, keeping me so busy that by the end of the day I certainly have stories to tell, but I just flop into my bed and crash. I do have some stories in my head from the past few weeks that I am hoping to get on paper, or on my laptop rather. I mean who writes anything on paper these days. The only thing I write on paper is my grocery list, and I am not even sure why I do that, I leave it at home half the time. Speaking of grocery list, I really need to get some groceries, but I refused to go out today in the snow. Really, snow! When I woke up this morning and looked out my window I was hoping it was all a horrible nightmare and in moments my alarm would wake me up. Nope it was real. Bo was excited though, he asked if he could go sledding. lol Perhaps the snow is my fault. I did take my electric blanket off my bed early this year and I put all the kids snow pants away a couple of weeks ago. I usually don’t do such a thing until I am pretty sure we are in the clear. I don’t know I guess I thought since we were half way through April I was safe. Well, that was a big “I told you so” from mother nature. Anyway I just keep telling myself to get through the next couple of cold days and it is sure to warm up, the problem is I have been telling myself that since mid March. I sure hope Spring shows up soon. Well, I suppose I should quit babbling. I will leave you with a “Tip for Parents.” Have a great week, and I will work on getting back to the writing, for anyone who needs reassurance that they are not the only crazy parent on the planet. I am here to tell you there are at least two of us. Lol

Tip for Parents…

In Value Based Parenting we teach how important it is to establish a rapport with your child. By doing this we strengthen the parent child relationship and our children our more receptive to our teaching, giving us the ability to influence them. This month I encourage you to take little moments every day to cultivate your relationship with your child, whether it be playing catch, dolls, video games, or a simple conversation over dinner asking them about their day. All of these are valuable moments. Each interaction is a deposit into your child’s emotional piggy bank. The more we make these deposits ahead of time, the more our children are willing to let us make “emotional with drawls” later. These “with drawls” may come in the form of encouraging our children to open up and be honest when asking them to share their feelings. Their willingness to do so is a direct result of the foundation you have built by investing in them.

"Time out" for Mom.

2011-03-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

I am finding the more my job picks up the pace the more juggling work, motherhood, and a housewife is challenging my OCD. I am one who has specific laundry days and likes my house to look nice before I go to bed. So when things get busy, as they were this week, I usually try to go 90mph, and still accomplish it all. But this week I just let things go. My laundry is piled up next to the washing machine out side my bedroom door. And there are dishes in the sink. Last week I worked till midnight four days in a row and I was exhausted. But this week I worked very hard to set my OCD aside so I wouldn’t get so stressed that I decapitated one of my children for leaving a sock out. Today I even took some “me” time. Rather than cleaning like a mad woman, I sat and read a book. A book that was inspirational, encouraging and teaching me knew ways to look at the principles I am learning these days. It was great. Actually refreshing and reviving. After my little “time out” I cooked dinner and fed the kids. As usual things were chaotic and I had to break up a couple spats and deal with Bo, who wasn’t feeling the greatest tonight, but I was surprisingly calm. I didn’t run Kate through the ringer for tattling, and I wasn’t even tempted to put Bo on Ebay, even though he was extremely whiny. So I am thinking taking time for “me” in the middle of a busy week, was a good idea. Now if I can just remember to let go of my OCD more often. I encourage you to take some “me” time. And let it be something that encourages you and revives you. See if it makes a difference in your day like it did mine. And then back to the laundry tomorrow I go!

Cleaning the van...It has been awhile

2011-03-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I cleaned out my van. To be totally honest I can’t believe I am going to disclose this information. But the following is what I found…
A McDonald’s cheeseburger wrapper with a dried up pickle inside
An empty pixie stick
An empty Wendy’s French Fries container
2 Empty water bottles
2 Full water bottles
A pair of socks
3 pairs of shoes
A few crayons
A paper plate
A few napkins
An old 6 inch roast beef sandwich with extremely dried roast beef, and the bread was as hard as a brick.
Stale French fries
Old school work
Old Sunday school pages
A hat
One glove
A coat
And the seat where Bo sits was covered in a combination of Graham crackers, cheese crackers, and peanuts.

It took me an hour to clean out and vacuum. But I did it and maybe, just maybe it will last a week. lol

What a beautiful day!

2011-03-16T19:12:00.001-07:00

What a beautiful Day! I just loved feeling the sun hit my face as I enjoyed a walk outside today. I looked around at what still appeared to be a desolate land, but I know in a matter of weeks it will be bursting with life once again. It is in these first moments of Spring I am reminded that no hardship last forever. There are times in our lives when we feel like those trees out side our widow. Trees that have been withstanding the bitter cold winds, rain, sleet and snow. There are moments when we think we just can’t take anymore, and then just like the first warm sunny day of spring, we too get relief from our trials. These first warm days bring a renewing to the depths of my soul, reminding me there are always new beginnings, and even after the coldest of winters, in time the flowers bloom again. And so I soaked up the sun today, thanking God for his continued faithfulness in my life. I encourage you to allow this new season to refresh your soul and find some new beginning of your own.

A few screws are missing.

2011-03-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I went to a museum with Josh and the boy scouts. I didn’t want to carry my big clunky purse so I took out my license, both credit cards, and my debit card and put them in a smaller purse to carry for the day. That worked great for Saturday, but today when I was standing in the checkout of Sam’s Club, well not so great! There I was with my cart loaded to the max and checked out, and no way to pay. Suddenly I thought of my check book. Yay! This would work, the cashier said I only needed my license if the computer asked for it. Well, guess what? It did ask for it. At this point in time I was seriously wondering how I could accomplish identity theft. I didn’t want to steal someone else’s, just my own.

Sam’s agreed to keep my groceries in their cooler and I would come back to get them, this way I didn’t have to do the “shopping” part all over again. I was going to have just enough time to go home, get my cards, go back to get my groceries, and then make it back up to the school to pick up the kids. It would work out just perfect, until I heard Bo say, “Mom, I have to go potty.”

We rushed down to the restroom. I directed Bo to the family restroom door while I was working hard to unlock my purse from the child buckle. I buckled it there to keep anyone from snatching it, but apparently it was so secure even I couldn’t “snatch” it. As I am looking at the buckle trying to figure out the secret disabling code I heard Bo say, “This door mom.” I looked up just in time to see him pushing on the emergency exit. His eyes popped wide open and he ran toward me. As the lady came around the corner you could see how thrilled she was to see a 4 – year old had set it off. I have to admit. I was laughing under my breath. To be totally honest I was surprised Bo had never set one off yet.

By the time we went potty there was no longer time to make it back before the kids would need to be picked up. So we just went home, and I went back that evening kid free. I also stopped at Meijer where I believe I tried on every pair of women’s shoes there. It was very therapeutic.

So as most of you know my blog is about finding the “silver lining”. Today I am choosing to believe ya haven’t REALLY lived life until one of your kids sets off the emergency exit. Life is short- Laugh it up.

No more sick days, back to work!

2011-03-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

Last week I was sick. While I was sick I found myself missing the “simple” things in life. Like being able to breath out both sides of my nose at the same time. Or being able to actually taste the pizza I burned in the oven. The kids, however, didn’t seem to mind so much that I was sick, cause as long as they babysat Bo, I really didn’t care what they did. So for them it was 3 days of TV, video games and things like pizza and cereal for dinner, how much better does it get for a kid. LOL But this week it is back to the routine of chores and limited TV time. Today I folded 8 baskets of laundry, four from the laundry I managed to get washed and dried on Thursday, and then another four loads from today, and hoping to catch up on all the sheets tomorrow. I also need to hang up the mountain of clothes I just laid across the stair railing next to the dryer. When we built this house we paid extra to have a beautiful stained oak stair railing on our upstairs landing, a railing that I now use as a hanging rack. Well at least we are getting our money’s worth.

And then there is the pile of socks on the floor at the foot of my bed. It is one and a half weeks worth of unmatched socks for a family of six!! I always put the socks in a pile and mate them after the laundry is folded. The problem is, I often will never get to them. I hate matching socks so I throw them in a basket to do “later” and soon everyone is digging through the basket at 7 AM looking for a pair of socks. Then I finally match them and start the whole cycle over.

Hopefully I will get caught up on everything tomorrow.

Surpise, surprise.

2011-03-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

This evening the kids and I went to my sister’s house and cleaned it for her as a surprise while her and Jake were shopping in Jackson. She has been a bit overwhelmed these days and when I was overwhelmed with my babies she used to come over and do the same for me while I was out. It always feels good to help someone out, especially as a surprise. But the amazing thing about tonight is that I got to show my kids how great that feels. At first they weren’t so keen on the whole “cleaning” idea. Kate was quicker to join in than the boys. After she joined in I just started giving the boys odd jobs. At first they complained, but then when Michael pulled in the drive they thought it was Jake and Jess. They ran up the stairs yelling, “they are here, they are here!” After they realized it was their dad they began cleaning faster with more excitement now. So all of us scurried around putting the house together. It was so great to teach my kids the joy in helping someone else. When Jess got home she called, Kate was still out of bed and was grinning ear to ear when she heard how excited my sister was over the speaker phone. I remember my mom doing the same with us when we were kids. So I am glad I am passing it on. I would love to hear some of the things you would like to pass on to your kids if you want to share.

Been there, done that.

2011-03-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

Been There, Done That…I can’t believe my kid ate that.

I want to hear from you. Share your similar experiences that unite us all…

I had taken my kids to McDonald’s one night for dessert and some time on the play land. The kids were up in the tunnels and I took a call on my cell phone. While talking with a friend of mine, my 3 three year old came and sat next to me. I looked at him and said, “Oh, are you finishing your nuggets” and then I was flooded with panic when I remembered we didn’t order nuggets, we only had dessert. Oh gross!

So now I want to here similar stories. Share your “ I can’t believe my kid ate that” story in the comments!!

Screw loose?

2011-02-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I had notes written all over my house since last Wednesday telling me NOT to eat Monday morning so I could get my blood drawn. For those of you who have read my blog before may recognize this predicament. I was supposed to get my blood drawn way back when before it even got cold. So once again I was attempting to do it this week. This morning, rather than getting up like a good little mom to make the kids lunches, I slept in till Bo pried me out of bed. I wandered downstairs still barely awake, I grabbed the cereal box off the counter and yes, ate a handful of cereal. Finally I started waking up and looked at the calendar and realized I did it again. I would have to plan another trip to the LAB, which with my schedule these days is tough. I talked to my husband later and asked him if I had a screw loose or something. His response was, “No Babe you don’t have a screw loose.” And just as I was thinking sweet things about my supportive hubby he followed it with, “That screw fell out a long time ago.” I had to laugh. That is one thing I do love about Michael. When I am stressing, he always helps me laugh. So I leave you with this, rather than stress about your “loose screws” find a way to laugh at them.

No stitches please.

2011-02-24T19:58:00.001-08:00

Yesterday started out going great and smooth. Ya know those days that everything falls into place. We got the kids to school on time. I dropped Bo off at Debbie’s and was up at the school to volunteer on time. And then I picked Debbie up and took her to the pool for water “aerobics” and managed to get Bo out of the pool and dressed to show up on time to pick up the kids from school. Everything was amazing! I picked Timmy up at three and would go back up at five to pick the older ones up from DI. And this is where my day started to feel familiar to me. I lost track of time talking to my Mom-in-law and at five we jumped in the van to pick the kids up, only I forgot to go to the school and went to drop my mom-in-law off first. About three minutes from her house I remembered the kids. Boy did I fee like such a geek. At that point in time it was pointless to turn around. So I dropped her off and went to pick up Josh and Kate a half hour late! Oh well, whatcha gonna do. Back at the house my sis was cooking dinner for us. Both of our hubby’s were gone for the night so we decided to hang out. Dinner went great and afterward the kids played in the basement leaving my sister and my mom and I to visit. It was bliss. Soon that bliss was interrupted by screaming. And it was not the “Hey that is my toy scream” it was the “I think I lost an appendage scream.” I ran down the stairs and turned the corner to find Bo crying hard and blood covered the back of his neck. Oh my gosh I was afraid to look. I was just sure he was missing half his skull. I rushed him upstairs where my mom already had a wet towel waiting for us. I put it on his head right a way. When I would pull the towel away to peek, blood would just drip of his strands of hair like a leaky faucet. I couldn’t see the cut because the poor kid is way over due for a haircut. Since it looked like most of his skull was still there I calmed a bit and remembered a friend of mine telling me that head wounds usually look worse than they are and bleed a lot. After a couple minutes we got the bleeding to stop and I took a closer look. It was so small. I honestly couldn’t believe the kid about needed a blood donor for a cut about a centimeter wide. I was able to wash it out and I had Mike look at it when he got home. Bo was asleep and we took a flashlight in his room and we both just stared at his head. I would look at Bo’s head, then look at Mikes face, then back to Bo’s head and then look at Mikes face. I really didn’t want him to tell me it needed a stitch. Ugh. It was hard enough to get him to let me pour water over it to clean it, I can’t say he would have been to fond of the idea of becoming a patch work quilt. We decided to check it out in the morning. I made my way back to my room and collapsed on my bed. My kitchen was a mess and there were bloody towels on the counter but this mama was done for the day. Nothing like a little head injury to drain you of all ya have left. The good news is today, after an hour in the bathtub cutting away the hair, it looks pretty good. If it was on his face we would defiantly have had to stitch it, but the hair will cover the scar so we decided not to traumatize him anymore at this point in time.

Scary times, will I survive this parenthood thing?

2011-02-22T20:31:00.001-08:00

This parenting thing sure can be scary at times. We just love these precious little terrors so much. Today my sister took her baby to the doctor because his eyes are shaking. They are sending the baby to get an MRI as a precautionary measure and then off to the ophthalmologist and a neuro consult. Of course it will take some time to find answers and in the mean time a mothers heart is left to worry. As I heard the news my mind began to wonder off to the many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy I had seen, with Derek Shepherd doing his amazing miraculous surgeries leaving you with the famous Hollywood feel good ending. I found myself hoping some handsome doctor would swoop in and give my sister the all too heroic news. But life is not a movie and it is times like these I am grateful for my faith. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through these moments of worry is that I believe in my maker. I believe he knows all and I have to believe his hand is on each one of my precious little gifts from him. So once again I hang on for dear life while this parenthood roller coaster scares me half to death.

You know you are a parent when...

2011-02-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

You know you are a parent when….

You can’t remember the last time you slept through the night without a kid waking you up to pee or climbing in bed with you because of a bad dream.

You walk across the kitchen and step in something wet, sticky or slimy.

You calculate a time line by how old your kids were when it happened, or how many kids you had when it happened. I find myself saying, “oh, that happened two kids ago.”

And with a the help of y’all, here are a lot more “you know you are a parent when…”

~You get a call from the principal saying that your son was disrespectful and called his 8th grade math teacher by his first name. The funny part was, Kevin had no clue that Mr. Milligan's first name was Bob. He was just using a phrase from some movie that we used all the time around the house. When Mr. Milligan asked Kevin to do something, Kevin responded, "No prob, Bob." -Sandy

~ when you catch your husband (who laughs at you for watching Noggin, even when the kids aren't around) humming the tune to "The Wonderpet's Teamwork" song and you laugh because you feel vindicated and your so happy your not the only one who is getting sucked into your childs entertainment choices. –Hope

~ this may just mean your old...but when you sit on the couch...lean forward...and ask your kids to hand you a pillow for your back. Or when your oldest wants you to sit on the floor with you she says I will put a pillow down for you mom. Wait...does that just mean pregnant? –Sarah

~ You eat froot loops for breakfast, mac n cheese for lunch, and hotdogs for dinner♥ Love my babies! And for the older childern in my life, I have to put in my parent control just to watch my Monday night line-up! –Belisha

~ You start quoting your parents! –Jamie

~ When your wife says she's pregnant. –Dean

~ Under the wallet, your purse hides some baby wipes, hot wheels cars, plastic dinosaurs, and fruit snacks. –Julie

~ I second Julie's comment. :) -Jackie

~ When you consider grocery shopping and Dr apps "me" time. –Melissa

~ You answer to the cry of Mom when you aren't even with your own. –Kelly

~ When you aren't at all surprised to see your toothbrush in the toilet. –Julie

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS…

And to sum it all up, You know you are a parent when at the end of the day, after all the milk has been spilt, the crayons have written on the walls, and the muddy foot prints tracked through the house, you look at your sleeping child and you know it’s all worth it!!!!!

Check it OUT!!!

2011-02-15T19:18:00.000-08:00

It is a FREE Mini Workshop for the parents of Springport students. Please pass on the info, I would love to see you there!

Check this info out at JamieLightner.com Click on the Events page!

Who wins the great battle?

2011-02-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

There is a great battle that rages inside me.
One side is the soaring eagle.
Everything the eagle stands for is good and true and beautiful, and it soars above the clouds. Even though it dips down into the valleys, it lays its eggs on the mountaintops.

The other side of me is the howling wolf.
And the raging, howling wolf represents the worst that’s in me. He eats upon my downfalls and justifies himself by his presence in the pack.

Who wins this great battle?

The one I feed.

Author Unknown

This is a poem I keep in sight, I thought some of you may like it too.

Gotta love Dad in-laws

2011-02-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

Gotta love Dad in-laws. My poor husband was stuck outside with a broken tractor today. Fortunately he got most of the driveway plowed before he had to play “tractor mechanic.” After many hours of working on it and a trip to the Tractor store he called in the big guns, his Dad. From time to time I would peek out my door and see them working in the driveway on the tractor that will no longer move. I would look out there and think “how adorable.” I don’t know why but I just think it is the cutest thing to see Michael and his Dad working together. I guess it’s nice to know that no matter how old we get our parents are still there to help us out and offer their wisdom from the same turn of events that occurred in their life while we were the kids sitting at the table eating soup just like mine were tonight. And then my Dad in-law came in to have some hot soup and took the time to do some card tricks and tell jokes with my kids. Needless to say the whole seen just left me feeling all warm and fuzzy on such a cold blustery day.

Snow Day!

2011-02-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

Snow day yeah! Usually when we hit about this time of year I am done with winter, done with snow, and certainly done with the cold air. But today I felt that same cozy fun feeling I felt on nights of a blizzard when I was in high school. The excitement in being able to be stranded from school, sleeping in being lazy, and just watching mother nature paint the world white. Today I watched the snow fall up, yeah, the wind was blowing so hard that it was not falling down. While I was watching the blizzard I had that same feeling all ready to make hot cocoa and watch movies. I thought to myself this is the one thing I do like about winter. A nice big blizzard that gives me an excuse to stay home in my pj’s with my kids snuggled up on the couch! I will enjoy mine, hope you enjoy yours.

My son is a super hero!

2011-01-31T18:40:00.000-08:00

Timmy, my 6 year old, is cracking me up lately. A few months back we watched the movie “How to train your Dragon” and he became obsessed with dragons. So much so that when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he replied, “I want to be a dragon.” Of course that request wasn’t exactly something I could put under the tree.

One day he was climbing into the van and sliding the door shut. This takes some muscles to get it to shut. It absolutely drives Kate crazy. She usually has to try 2 and 3 times to shut it. But Timmy puts his all into it and shuts it on the first try most times. So one day I said to him, “wow Timmy, you are so good at shutting that door. How do you do it?” He responded as serious as can be, “it is probably my dragon muscles.” I just chuckled to myself, too cute.

Well, just a couple of weeks ago we watched “Iron Man” with the kids. Lately we have been picking out movies that us adults like, that the kids will like, and we just forward the parts that aren’t age appropriate. Granted the 2 hour movie is now 1 hour, but hey at least we don’t have to sit through another Disney one we have seen 16 times. So we watched Iron Man and Timmy was in awe. Of course, a man that can fly, what could be cooler. Well, now rather than attributing his “super powers” to being a dragon, he now thinks he is iron man. Today he went to my moms to get some rice for me. When he got back I raved at how fast he went there and back. I jokingly asked, “You were so fast, did you drive my car?” “No” he said. And then as serious as can be with the cutest little face ever he said, “I was just using my iron man power.” He is cracking me up!

Ya gotta love how they believe in themselves with there whole hear. I think we could all learn a lesson from our little 6 year olds!

So glad my life isn't boring

2011-01-26T19:51:00.000-08:00

I was chatting with a friend today about daughters and dramatic exits. She was sharing a story of her daughters dramatic exit, which was quite funny(you can read it at http://marriagemattersjackson.wordpress.com/ it is the Jan.24th post) Anyway it just got me thinking about all the crazy things our kids do that drive us crazy. Yet even in the craziness where would I be without such stories. It is like I tell my husband all the time. “Babe, your life would be way too boring and predictable without me in it” Ya see my man is very logical and pretty smart if I do say so myself. He would never find himself in the crazy predicaments I get myself into. Such as losing my minivan at the Breslin Center(an earlier post), or deciding one day to highlight my hair with foils and bleach(earlier post), or trying to rearrange a room and having to leave the furniture in the middle of the room because my legs couldn’t push against the wall anymore cause they weren’t long enough and I was strong enough without that leverage(sure to be a post soon lol). Anyway, it is when I am in these predicaments I tell him my line, “Babe, your life would be way too boring and predictable without me in it” And as I thought of my four kids and their craziness, that obviously they come by honestly, I think to myself, “my life would be way to boring and predictable without them in it” And then my mind wanders to the successful people in Hollywood. What were they like. I mean you can’t tell me that at the age 7, Jim Carey didn’t drive his mom insane. Or seriously how many fires did Edison start as a teenager because he was fascinated with putting energy to work. And Einstein, don’t even get me started! I can see Timmy with that kind of hairdo himself. So the next time your kid is driving you crazy, or maybe they have their drama knob turned up too high, just think about how to help them channel that genius creativity. Who knows, maybe you will see them on the red carpet someday.

Friend day, 4 times 2 is how many!

2011-01-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

Today was a ½ day. And the whole day just started out crazy. I got up this morning and had 4 sandwiches made when Josh reminded me that they don’t eat lunch on ½ days. Then at 10:45 I realized that school didn’t get out at 11:55 but actually 10:55. So I hurried Bo to get dressed. He is in this phase where he wants to pick out his own clothes. Being that I needed to have him dressed in 60 seconds I chose not to argue with him when he picked out a white shirt. Even though the responsible mom in me was thinking that “white” was not a good idea for this kid. But I threw it on him and managed to make it up to the school by 3:00.

I told each of my kids that they could have a friend over on this half day of school. Of course I have 4 kids of my own, so when they each have a friend over our numbers multiply quickly. Fortunately my older two seem to just disappear when their friends are here, so I just have to keep an eye on the younger hooligans. So far the day has been quite interesting. I went up to my bedroom when things got quiet, which is naturally a sure sign of trouble, and I walked in the kids bathroom only to find Travis and Bo brushing their teeth. I know, sounds like a good thing right? The problem was I have no idea whose toothbrushes they were using. I can’t say Kate will be to thrilled if it was hers. Then I walked into my bedroom to find every cough drop in the bag I had by my bed had been unwrapped and on thrown on the floor. I am sure this was my sons idea, it looked like his handy work. Later the little boys wanted to snack on more pizza. While eating they made up a game, instigated by my son of course. The object was to hit your head on the table. Yeah, I don’t get it either. All I know is Bo wopped his head on the table on purpose, said, “owe” and then laughed. “Well, there goes college”, I thought to myself. Once they were done eating, they started picking on the girls. So I just said the magic words of “play dough” and they came running.

It was a crazy day, but a good crazy. Each kid had a blast playing with their friends. No one ended up in the hospital and no one ended up crying with their feelings hurt, so that’s always good. And at the end they all pitched in and cleaned up with great attitudes. That sure makes it worth doing again! I guess I would say the only casualty was the white shirt. By the end of the day the “white” shirt had pizza all down the front, playdough on the elbows, spaghetti splattered on it from dinner, a stripe of grape juice down the very center and to top it off some splatters of chocolate cheesecake.

A good Grown-up

2011-01-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I felt like I was having one of those, “I am the worst mom on the planet days.” I was fighting a head cold, so my patience bucket was lower than it’s usual low anyway. Some how we managed to survive the day. No one was sold and no one was duck taped to a chair so things could have been worse. I just felt bad for being crabby. Well, that night Kate just made my heart melt and I just knew everything would be ok. I was lying in bed snuggling with her. This is something she likes to do from time to time when I am tucking her in. I was lying there stroking her hair and I said to her, “You are a good kid Kate.” This is a phrase I say to them often and they usually give me a cute grin. Well that night Kate looked back at me and said, “You are a good grown-up mom.” And then followed it with a cute giggle. We were both just lying there laughing. In that moment I couldn’t help believe that despite my “not so proud” parenting moments, my kids know I love them and they are happy to be a part of this family. And that is all that really matters!

Cleaning House, it won't kill ya.

2011-01-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

So tell me, is there some sort of encyclopedia, or internet site out their that only the 4th grade and up kids read. There just has to be some sort of informational reading out there that you gain privileged access to when you enter the 4th grade. I am sure what Not to wear, and who has koodies this week is in it. Right along with the aweful desease you will catch if you “clean”. The reason I say it is privileged access to 4th grade and up is because Timmy and Bo will just hop to it. Timmy does his chores as quick as he can to insure his computer time will be available. And Bo, who knows why he likes cleaning so much, but he does. Josh and Kate act as if they might get the plague, from making their bed, dusting, or putting their laundry away. Now they could, I suppose they get the plague from cleaning their bathroom, but I always sterilize the kids after they clean the bathroom, so we should be good. But never the less, you would think that I asked them to go out back and plant a field with a horse and plow. Whew. Kids, gotta love ‘em.

Cast Away!!!!

2011-01-17T18:47:00.001-08:00

Cast Away Café. A place you go to let all your little Tarzans play. My sister and I thought we would be the “cool” parents and spontaneously take our kids to the “Cast Away Café” in Howell today. It seems though, that when Jess and I do something spontaneously, adventure always accompanies us. Surprisingly today things went incredibly smooth. I was actually ready to go before she was, which rarely happens. She is usually calling me asking how much longer, and I am always telling her a time subtracting 10 minutes from the truth just so it sounds better to her. But not today. Today the girl with four was first out the door. We met in Eaton Rapids where my kids piled into her car so we could ride together. The older three had their movie in the back and the younger boys were watching “Cars” in the middle, and Jess and I were sipping our coffee in the front. What could be better? The trip was perfect. That is until we walked in the door of the playland and realized we were not the only parents going for the “most coolness award.” In fact I think every parent in Howell and surrounding cities, and maybe some parents from Indiana, Ohio, and even the UP were there. Oh if we hadn’t driven an hour we would have turned around and left. Also, that choice would have taken us from the “Cool Parent” to the “Lame Parent” in one split second! So, seeing that they had a locked one way in and one way out gate, and you could only take the kids out that had the same stamp as you, we decided to face the crowd. It actually turned out great! They had a great deal on pizza and our little Tarzans used up all their energy and went to bed Great tonight.

I'm Cleaning??

2011-01-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

I find it ironic when I work on deep cleaning one room in my house, the rest of my house falls apart. Today we had Travis over, so Bo was occupied for literally 7 hours straight, it was great. I decided to clean out my office. And I mean CLEAN. I cleaned out the big cabinet, and the bookshelf, and my desk shelves, and even re-arranged a bit. I also got up on a chair and dusted off the safe and the tall cabinet. Oh my gosh the amount of dust that was up there, I am surprised I can still breath. Finally, it was all done and I vacuumed it for that perfect clean feel. Ahhhhhh. It felt so good to stand in the middle of the room and take it all in. And then I stepped out of the office and into the part of the house that I not only neglected but a pair of 3 year olds had been doing there best to play in every room of the house. I stepped into the hall where I had piled my no longer needed items, and the kids stuff that I was no longer keeping in my space seeing that Josh and Kate both have their own rooms. The toy room had toys everywhere and was sprinkled with cheese crackers from the boys snacking at the little tykes kitchen. Moving on to the kitchen there were 2 dirty plates on the table with dried Mac-n-cheese on them, and shredded cheese all over the floor. I had given the boys a handful of cheese at Bo’s request of course, and when I stepped out of the kitchen they decided to refill themselves. Fortunately, I caught them in the act and they didn’t eat any more, but naturally I just left the mess cause I was busy “cleaning.” My couch pillows were all over my living room floor and when I heard Bo say that they made a surprise for me in his room, well I was just sooooo excited. I went up there to see they had emptied my linen closet of all the sheets, pillow cases, blankets and extra pillows to make a fort in his bed room. It looked more like a mountain that a fort, but they were pretty proud. And to top it off they emptied the dirty towels out of the basket in my hallway and had those strewn about their fort. When I informed them that they were dirty they were both willing to put them back in the basket. Crazy how I got one room REALLY clean, only to have the others get destroyed. But to be honest, it was all worth it. It didn’t take me near as long to pick up the rest of the house as it did to deep clean the office. It did help my clean up time when rather than re fold all my sheets and blankets I just wadded them into a ball and shoved them in the closet. I will just fold them after the next washing!

Let's punch out for the day! Or maybe just an hour.

2011-01-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

“Do you ever have those days when you wish you could find your parenting time card to punch out and just go home? Well, I guarantee you are not the only one. I invite you to take a night out, enjoy some “parents anonymous” conversation, and bring home some tools to help you with that 168 hour work week.”

Go to my events page on my website, www.jamielightner.com to see the details about the upcoming parenting class in Jackson.

Sick or not?

2011-01-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

“Bo, would you please just at least pretend you are sick, now that we are at the doctors office.” I said to my kid who although had a fever he was bouncing into the waiting room like a jumping bean. When it comes to taking my kids to the doctor I am a big “waiter”. I like to be sure there is a for sure reason we are there. Basically, my kids have to be missing a limb before I take them in. Well, Bo had been running a fever since Monday night but he just kept bouncing around the house keeping me busy as usual so I kept “waiting” to take him in. Well, last night at about 6pm, he said “Mom, I am tired. I want to sleep in your bed. Carry me, mom.” Whoa! I couldn’t find the phone fast enough. Seriously, Bo, tired, since when. Surely he must have the plague. I called the doctor the next morning. Of course he woke up all bright and cheery. And I began to doubt myself till he crashed again at noon. I thought I would take advantage of his movie moment and get some work done. And after an hour of resting he was back up trying to push buttons on my computer. Finally, time for the doctor and there he was all bright and cheery, still running a temp. Fortunately, the wait wasn’t long, so he only had time to rip up the paper on the patient table. And then the strep throat test came back positive. Seriously the kid, the jumping bean, has strep throat.

I dance like a "white" girl...still!

2011-01-05T19:04:00.001-08:00

I AM BACK!!! You may have noticed I took two weeks off from writing. Or maybe your Christmas Break was just like mine and you were so busy your computer started to collect dust. Well, I feel like I am finally getting back into the groove of my life as a taxi service once again, seeing that my kids need a planner more than I do. I thought my first day back I would tell you about my break, but I went to Zumba so naturally I have to write about my “Latin Dance”
I was so excited to attend my first Zumba class. I mentioned a September post, that “I dance like a white girl”. And despite the real live instructor, which for some reason I thought might transform me into a hip swinging Goddess, well, I still dance like a white girl. I realized tonight I must be “right bodied”. What is so hard about just reversing the move, I don’t know. I especially loved the moment when she said those great words, “ok, let me show you the moves slowly,” only to find out her definition of slow and mine were quite different. I really needed the elementary version! Remember the letter people for learning how to read. I need little “zumba people” showing me step by step as if in slow motion over and over again. And to shake it, well I can handle the task with my feet planted, but tell me, how do ya “shake it” and walk at the same time. Then to make it even more crazy, she did this grape vine move with a full spin in the middle. I don’t know about you but coordination and me, hmmm, I was just glad I didn’t fall on the girl I spun myself next too. That would have been embarrassing. It would have made a good blog post I am sure, but lets face it, there are some stories you just don’t want to tell. The good news is, according to my very sweet, very encouraging instructor, I did well. When we started class she said the most important goal of the night was to keep your feet moving, keep your heart rate up, and sweat. So even though there were points I was just flailing my feet around to look busy, or bouncing left and right to go with the crowd, I managed to do what she asked of me. I have to say though, one of my favorite comments was made by the woman in front of me. Our instructor had us doing a “shake it” move, and then she said to switch and the comment was “switch what?” Apparently there is a “left” way, and a “right” way to “shake it” lol As we were stretching our instructor encouraged us to eat healthy after such a work out. She said going home and devouring a cheeseburger and fries would give us a stomach ache. So being the good girl I am, I did no such thing. I had a bowl of ice cream instead! I gotta say, although I only got about 10% of the moves, it was a lot of fun. Hopefully I improve and I can someday write a post about how I discovered my “inner Latin Soul.”